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Band 6.5

The bar chart below gives information about the average number of years at school of adult males and females in Singapore, and the pie charts show the level of the highest educational achievement.

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The bar chart below gives information about the average number of years at school of adult males and females in Singapore, and the pie charts show the level of the highest educational achievement.
The bar chart compares the average number of
years
Use synonyms
 that adult
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 spent at school in Singapore between 2000 and 2010,
while
Linking Words
 the pie charts
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
 the highest level of educational achievement in 2000 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, the average number of
years
Use synonyms
 spent in
education
Use synonyms
 increased for both
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 throughout the period.
Men
Use synonyms
 spent more
years
Use synonyms
 at school than
women
Use synonyms
. Regarding educational achievement, the proportion of people with a university
qualification
Use synonyms
 increased considerably,
while
Linking Words
 the
figures
Use synonyms
 for those whose highest
qualification
Use synonyms
 was below secondary or secondary
education
Use synonyms
 declined. In 2000, adult
men
Use synonyms
 had spent an average of 9.2
years
Use synonyms
 at school, compared with 8
years
Use synonyms
 for
women
Use synonyms
. These
figures
Use synonyms
 rose gradually, reaching 10.2 and 8.9
years
Use synonyms
 in 2008. By 2010, the
figures
Use synonyms
 had increased
further
Linking Words
 to 10.5
years
Use synonyms
 for
men
Use synonyms
 and 9.1
years
Use synonyms
 for
women
Use synonyms
. The pie charts show a significant change in educational attainment. In 2000, 27.7% of adults had secondary
education
Use synonyms
 as their highest
qualification
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 27.6% held a diploma or professional
qualification
Use synonyms
. A
further
Linking Words
 23.6% had below-secondary
education
Use synonyms
, and 21.1% had a university
qualification
Use synonyms
. By 2010, the proportion with a university
qualification
Use synonyms
 had more than 44.1%,
while
Linking Words
 the
figures
Use synonyms
 for below-secondary and secondary
education
Use synonyms
 fell to 8.6% and 13.4%. Meanwhile, the share with a diploma or professional
qualification
Use synonyms
 rose to 33.9%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further, while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years, men, women, education, qualification, figures with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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