Some people think it is a good thing for senior managers to have much higher salaries than other workers in a company. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
A small proportion of society believes that it is a good idea to have higher earnings for senior managers.
Although
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some people may have reservations about
this
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view, I strongly disagree with the idea of higher
payroll
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pay
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for senior managers.
This
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is primarily because it reduces competitiveness.
Body paragraph 1
The primary reason why I strongly disagree with
this
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view is that higher payroll makes
manager
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managers
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less competitive.
This
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is because people often feel secure if they have no competition.
As a result
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, the productivity of the department decreased. A clear example of
this
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can be seen in many large companies where creativity is lacking.
Body paragraph 2
Another compelling reason for my position is that higher salaries can have a significant impact on company finances. The underlying reason is that excessive earnings for senior managers can strain a company's finances, reducing the funds available for other critical areas
such
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as employee development, research, and expansion.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
while
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there may be certain arguments in favour of
this
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perspective , I remain firmly convinced that excessive
stipend
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stipends
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are not a good thing. The fact that higher salaries makes manager less competitive and have an impact on
company's
Correct article usage
the company's
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finances.

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task response
Your view is clear: you disagree. However, explain more why high pay makes a manager less active. This link is not fully clear. Add a real or clear made-up example with details.
task response
Your point about company money is more clear. Develop it further: say how less money for staff, new work, or growth can harm the whole company.
task response
You should also deal with the other side. For example, say that high pay may help a company keep very good managers, then explain why you still disagree.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear order: opening, two main parts, and ending. Keep this plan, but make the link between each idea stronger with simple words such as “because”, “therefore”, and “for example”.
coherence and cohesion
Some key words are repeated, such as “higher payroll” and “higher salaries”. Use simple and correct choices like “high pay”, “manager pay”, and “senior managers”.
coherence and cohesion
Make the last paragraph a full summary. Write both main reasons again in a clear form: high pay may lower effort and may leave less money for other company needs.
coherence and cohesion
Check grammar in main sentences. For example, write “makes managers less competitive”, “productivity decreases”, and “high salaries have an impact on the company’s finances”.
task response
You answer the question directly and keep the same clear view from the first paragraph to the end.
task response
The point about money for staff training, research, and growth is useful and fits the topic well.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear four-part shape, with an opening, two body paragraphs, and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
Each body paragraph starts with a main idea, which helps the reader follow your writing.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • justification
  • experience
  • responsibility
  • high-stakes decisions
  • motivation
  • incentive
  • wage disparity
  • morale
  • meritocracy
  • performance
  • contributions
  • company finances
  • employee development
  • research
  • expansion
  • alternative compensation structures
  • performance-based bonuses
  • profit sharing
  • dissatisfaction
  • retention
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