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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagrams give information about changes in a student accommodation. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

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The diagrams give information about changes in a student accommodation. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
The maps illustrate the changes made to a student accommodation in 2010 and at the moment.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the residential
area
Use synonyms
 is expanded to accommodate
studnets
Correct your spelling
students'
 needs,
while
Linking Words
 new facilities are conctructed to the site. The most notable transformation is the replacement of
garden
Correct article usage
the garden
show examples
 with
parking
Correct article usage
a parking
show examples
area
Use synonyms
. In 2010 layout, the site consists of two gardens
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
 first one
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the northern
side
Use synonyms
 of the map and the second one on the southern
side
Use synonyms
. To the
southwestern
Replace the word
southwest
, there is a large hall surrounded
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 a garden
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
 one
side
Use synonyms
 and an entrance
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the other
side
Use synonyms
. At the moment, the garden
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the southern section
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the map is demolished and replaced by
parking
Correct article usage
a parking
show examples
area
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the hall is reduced in
its
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
size to
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nearly half compared to the past.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, an ensuite bathroom is added between the hall and a bedroom, and a new bedroom is constructed beside the entrance.
Moreover
Linking Words
, to the
north
Punctuation problem
north,
show examples
 there is a living room
is
Correct pronoun usage
that is
show examples
 replaced by a bedroom.
the
Capitalize the word
The
show examples
 kitchen is expanded and
added
Verb problem
has added
show examples
 a new social
area
Use synonyms
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words area, side with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 3 times.
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