IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You recently organized an all-day meeting for your company, which took place in a local hotel. In their feedback, participants at the meeting said they liked the hotel, but they were unhappy about the food served for lunch. Write a letter to the manager of the hotel. In your letter •Say what the participant liked about the hotel. •Explain why they were unhappy about the hotel. •Suggest what the manager should do to improve the food in the future.

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Dear Manager, Salvik
hotel
Capitalize the proper name
Hotel
show examples
, Good morning, I hope you are doing well. I had
organized
Change the spelling
organised
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 the day meeting in your permises the
last
Linking Words
saturday
Capitalize the proper name
Saturday
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. We took a survey of our staff regarding their experience.
This
Linking Words
 survey included some sections about atmosphere,
food
Use synonyms
, facilities and hospitality provided by your hotel.
specially
Fix capitalization
Especially
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, the ambience was really good.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
music
Add an article
the music
show examples
 system and hospitalicy was attractive. And
lastly
Linking Words
,
The
Fix capitalization
the
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 seating arrangements were perfect.
However
Linking Words
, most of the people complained about the quality of
food
Use synonyms
thet
Correct your spelling
that
 you guys
surved
Correct your spelling
served
. The bread was cold, and the spices in
pasta
Add an article
the pasta
show examples
 were so bad. Even I felt the same way
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 I ordered
food
Use synonyms
 from outside your hotel. I don't need any compensation
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 please take
this
Linking Words
 issue seriously and
imvrove
Correct your spelling
improve
 your
food
Use synonyms
 quality. In conclusion, most of the reviews are positive, but they all complained about the
food
Use synonyms
 quality. Please consider their feedback and take necessary steps so that
this
Linking Words
 mistake doesn't repeat. You can revise your
recipies
Correct your spelling
recipes
, talk
tou
Correct your spelling
to
 your staff, or even change the
food
Use synonyms
 supplier of spices.

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task response
You answer all parts of the task. Add more clear details about the lunch, such as what food was served and how many people were not happy.
task response
Your ideas to improve the food are useful. Ask the manager to test the food before the next meeting and give staff clear rules.
task response
Use a more formal tone. Do not write “you guys” or “I don’t need any compensation”. Write “your staff” and “I would be grateful if you could” instead.
coherence and cohesion
Put your ideas into clear paragraphs: why you are writing, what people liked, the food problem, and what you want the manager to do.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple link words to guide the reader, such as “However”, “Also”, “For this reason”, and “Finally”.
coherence and cohesion
End with a formal closing, for example: “I look forward to your reply. Yours faithfully,” followed by your name.
task response
You clearly say that people liked the atmosphere, music, service, and seating.
task response
You give clear examples of the food problem, including cold bread and bad pasta.
coherence and cohesion
The letter has a clear start, a main problem, and ideas for change.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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