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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local costum and behavior others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural difference Discuss both view and give your opinion.

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Introduction
It is often argued whether
tourists
Use synonyms
 should act the same around
locals
Use synonyms
 or whether they should be welcomed regardless of their background and differences.
This
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 essay will discuss both perspectives and explain why
visitors
Use synonyms
 should be accepted as they are
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 long as they
are
Wrong verb form
do
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 not
disrespecting
Wrong verb form
disrespect
show examples
 anyone.
Body paragraph 1
Firstly
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, many people believe that
visitors
Use synonyms
 should follow the traditions and culture of the country they are visiting.
This
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 is mainly
due to
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 people thinking that
this
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 is the way to avoid unintentional conflict between
locals
Use synonyms
 and
tourists
Use synonyms
, and showing respect. To illustrate, if the residents of a country are dressing modestly, foreign
tourists
Use synonyms
 should not be wearing revealing clothes, which might indicate
lack
Add an article
a lack
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 of respect
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the local traditions.
Additionally
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, some places hold a certain religious or
cultrual
Correct your spelling
cultural
 significance to
locals
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,
Add a semicolon
;
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such
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 places should be respected by
visitors
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.
Body paragraph 2
In contrast
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, some individuals think that travellers should be free to act as they like in foreign countries. Many nations are considered as
an attraction
Replace the word
attractive
 sites for
tourists
Use synonyms
 worldwide.
Furthermore
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, these
visitors
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 are from different cultures,
ethnicites
Correct your spelling
ethnicities
, and backgrounds. It would be more rational to accept
this
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 diversity
instead
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 of forcing certain
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
 and habits, as
this
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 would not be
very
Add an article
a very
show examples
 welcoming form of
act
Replace the word
action
.
For instance
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, Qatar hosted the
world cup
Capitalize the proper name
World Cup
show examples
 in 2026 and had
tourists
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 from all over the world. The majority of people who went there were impressed by the hospitality, which was very beneficial to the reputation of the country and the
locals
Use synonyms
 there.
Conclusion
In conclusion, both perspectives are valid, but I firmly believe that travellers should be welcomed and accepted for who they are. What really matters is that they should always be respectful to the place they are visiting.

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task response
Discuss both sides in more depth. Explain not only what each side thinks, but also why this matters for visitors and local people.
task response
Make your own view a little clearer. You say visitors should be accepted, but they must also be respectful. Explain where you would draw the line.
task response
Use an example that is fully correct and well explained. The World Cup in Qatar was in 2022, not 2026. Show how the example proves your main point.
task response
Avoid ideas that are too wide, such as saying visitors should be free to act as they like. Some actions may harm or upset local people. Say that cultural difference is welcome when it does not break local rules or show disrespect.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: introduction, one paragraph for each view, and a conclusion. Keep this strong plan.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more smoothly inside paragraphs. For example, after the point about modest clothes, explain clearly that this can help visitors avoid causing upset.
coherence and cohesion
Make some sentences more direct. For example, change “This is mainly due to people thinking that this is the way” to “This can help visitors avoid conflict and show respect.”
coherence and cohesion
Use clear topic sentences. In the second main paragraph, begin with a direct statement such as “However, others believe host countries should accept cultural differences.”
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you discuss both views and give a clear opinion.
task response
Your main view is balanced. You support cultural difference, but you also state that visitors must not disrespect others.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction clearly tells the reader what the essay will do.
coherence and cohesion
Each main paragraph has one main idea, and the conclusion restates your view clearly.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • local customs
  • social norms
  • cultural differences
  • show respect for
  • adapt to local traditions
  • follow local laws
  • public behaviour
  • religious dress code
  • avoid causing offence
  • cultural identity
  • personal freedom
  • mutual respect
  • cultural tolerance
  • welcome diversity
  • open-minded society
  • harmless differences
  • cross-cultural understanding
  • a balanced approach
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