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Band 3

The image below gives inforation on the production of ksilkwar and the prodcution og silk cloth

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Introduction
The life cycle of the
silkworm
Use synonyms
 and the distinct stages involved in the production of
silk
Use synonyms
 cloth are depicted in the given flow chart.
Body paragraph 1
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there are four stages included in the life cycle of the
silkworm
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. In the initial
stage
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, eggs are given by bees
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
Linking Words
subsequently
Add a comma
subsequently,
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 after ten
Use synonyms
days
Punctuation problem
days,
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 these eggs are hatched and shaped into the
silkworm
Use synonyms
 larva. During
this
Linking Words
stage
Use synonyms
, the
silkworm
Use synonyms
 larva eats mulberry
leaf
Check wording
leaves
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. Later on, after 4-6
weeks
Punctuation problem
weeks,
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 the
silk
Use synonyms
thread
Use synonyms
 is produced around the larva before
before
Remove the redundancy
apply
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the production of
cocoon
Add an article
the cocoon
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 after 3-8
days
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. In the final phase, cocoons are turned into moth with 16
days
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 the same
process
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 continues again.
Body paragraph 2
As per the
silk
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 cloth
productinn
Correct your spelling
product
process
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,
initially
Linking Words
, a small proportion of
cocoon
Add an article
the cocoon
show examples
 is selected and
then
Linking Words
 added into the pan of water. Afterwards, the
thread
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 is
unwind
Wrong verb form
unwound
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 into 300-900m. When
unwinding
Add an article
the unwinding
show examples
stage
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 is finished, the
thread
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 is twisted and
then
Linking Words
weaved
Wrong verb form
woven
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. After these two steps tanferred into
container
Add an article
the container
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 to dye.
Lastly
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 twisted and
weaved
Replace the word
woven
thread
Use synonyms
 is sent to a
boll
Correct your spelling
bolt
 for
dying
Add an article
the dying
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stage
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.
Conclusion
In the final analysis,
life-cycle
Correct determiner usage
the life cycle
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 of silkwarm is a cyclical
process
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 it takes around 16
days
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 to complete,
whereas
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
silk
Use synonyms
 cloth production is a linear
process
Use synonyms
 in which
selected
Add an article
the selected
show examples
 cocoon is
unwind
Replace the word
unwound
 and colored.

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task response
Give a clear main view in the first part. Say that the life cycle has four main steps and that cloth making has several steps from cocoon to dyed silk.
task response
Check all facts in the chart. Eggs are laid by a moth, not bees. The full life cycle does not take 16 days: 16 days is only the time for a cocoon to become a moth.
task response
Include the key times and steps in the right order: eggs hatch after 10 days, larvae grow for 4–6 weeks, cocoons form in 3–8 days, and moths come out after 16 days.
task response
Describe the cloth process more fully. Include selecting cocoons, boiling them in water, unwinding the thread, twisting it, weaving it, and dyeing the cloth.
task response
Do not add details that are not clear in the chart, such as a small proportion of cocoons or a container and bowl. Use only what the chart shows.
coherence and cohesion
Use two clear body parts: one for the silkworm life cycle and one for silk cloth making. This will make the answer easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each process in time order. Use simple links such as “First”, “Next”, “After that”, and “Finally”.
coherence and cohesion
Make the end part accurate and short. The final part should sum up the two processes without repeating wrong time details.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid unclear sentences, for example “cocoons are turned into moth with 16 days”. Write “After 16 days, a moth comes out of the cocoon” instead.
task response
You describe both the silkworm life cycle and the silk cloth process, so the answer covers the two main parts of the chart.
task response
You include several useful details, such as mulberry leaves, cocoons, thread length, twisting, weaving, and dyeing.
coherence and cohesion
Your answer has a clear opening, separate parts for the two processes, and a final summary.
coherence and cohesion
You use time and order words such as “To begin with”, “Later on”, “Afterwards”, and “Lastly” to guide the reader.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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