IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Write a letter to a friend who is looking for a part time job. Describe a job you have found for him/her including: - What are the duties? - Why do you think it is a good job for him/her? - What does he/she have to do to get i

5.0 / 9
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Dear Pauline, I'm writing
you
Change preposition
to you
show examples
 to talk
you
Change preposition
to you
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 about a
job
Use synonyms
 that I found for you.
Firstly
Linking Words
, I know you are searching for a
job
Use synonyms
 in restoration
as
Punctuation problem
, as
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 you have been working most often. The location of
this
Linking Words
 restaurant is
in
Change preposition
on
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 Avenue
street
Capitalize the proper name
Street
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 and is located
in
Change preposition
apply
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near the Napoleon
Meseum
Correct your spelling
Museum
. I found
this
Linking Words
job
Use synonyms
 opportunity online on their website as
the
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 were looking for a
suplementary
Correct your spelling
supplementary
 server. I
send
Wrong verb form
sent
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 an email to the manager and asked about the duties
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 he replied
me
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to me
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 in the message
and
Correct word choice
, which
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 was
written
Verb problem
apply
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mainly to serve customers that takes their meals outside and wash dishes.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, I think it is a great opportunity for you
as
Correct word order
, as it
show examples
firstly
Linking Words
, is not far from your house.
Moreover
Linking Words
, you can have benefits if you work supplementary hours
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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also
Linking Words
, you have the possibility to work from 6:00 pm to 10:00pm since it is a
part time
Correct your spelling
part-time
job
Use synonyms
 and is convenient as you are a student.
Finaly
Correct your spelling
Finally
, the steps you have to
do
Verb problem
take to
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 get there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 to postulate on their website servie which is www.palomarestaurant.com. When applying
you
Punctuation problem
, you
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 send a CV,
written
Add an article
a written
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 letter and your ID card. I'm looking forward
hearing
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to hearing
show examples
 from you! Lots of love! Axel.

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task response
Give all key facts in a clear way. Say the job name, the place, the work times, and what the friend must send.
task response
Use clear words for the work. For example, say “part-time waiter” instead of “supplementary server”.
task response
Check that each point is easy to understand. The last part should say: “To get the job, apply on the website and send your CV, a cover letter, and your ID.”
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each part: job details first, why it is good next, and how to apply last.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple links such as “First”, “Also”, “Because of this”, and “Finally”. Do not use too many links in one long sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Make the first sentence more natural: “I’m writing to tell you about a job I found for you.”
task response
You cover the job duties, why the job suits your friend, and how to apply.
task response
You give useful details, such as the place, work time, and website.
coherence and cohesion
The letter has a clear start, middle, and end.
coherence and cohesion
The greeting and closing are warm and right for a friend.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • part-time job
  • duties
  • responsibilities
  • skills
  • interests
  • suitability
  • local café
  • retail
  • library
  • customers
  • organizing
  • stock management
  • application process
  • resume
  • cover letter
  • online application
  • relevant experience
  • interview preparation
  • attire
  • encouragement
  • support
  • tailoring application
  • people skills
  • passion
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