IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Your employer has recently allowed some employees to work remotely from home. You would also like to work from home. Write a letter to the HR manager for permission to work from home for the next six months. In your letter, mention why you are writing explain why you would like to work from home say how this can benefit you and the company

4.5 / 9
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Dear
sir
Capitalize the proper name
Sir
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/Madam,
I'am
Correct your spelling
I'm
 writing you
this
Linking Words
 letter
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 to ask for a temporal permision to work remotely at home for the next 6 months.
Firstly
Linking Words
, I want to tell you that I finished my task
for the
Change preposition
apply
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2 months earlier
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 I want to
pleade If
Correct your spelling
plead that
 I can receive my permission to work at home for the next 6 months
starting
Punctuation problem
, starting
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 from next
Monday
Punctuation problem
Monday,
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 the 16th of October 2026.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the reason I had to ask for
this
Linking Words
,
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apply
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 is to assist my wife in the house since she is
her
Change preposition
in her
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 terminal phase of pregnancy
Linking Words
also
Punctuation problem
, also
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, it is not convenient for me working at the office since it is a difficult
per
Check wording
period
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 for her and I can not leave her alone.
Finally
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 I'
m
Use synonyms
 not present in the
office
Punctuation problem
office,
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 it will permit
to
Correct pronoun usage
me to
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 be effective
while
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 knowing I'
m
Use synonyms
 by her side.
This
Linking Words
 will be positive mentally since I can help her and I will do my best to work for the
company
Punctuation problem
company,
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 I'
m
Use synonyms
 not
to
Use the right word
too
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 occupied that something can happen to her. I think it will be better for both parties. I'
m
Use synonyms
 looking
hearing
Verb problem
forward to hearing
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 from you! Yours faithfully, Axel.

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task response
State your request in a clear way: ask to work from home for six months, with the start date. Give one or two clear reasons, such as helping your wife near the birth.
task response
Explain more clearly how the company will benefit. For example, say you will be online each day, join all meetings, and finish your work on time.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple order: reason for writing, why you need to work from home, how you and the company will benefit, then a polite closing.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each paragraph on one main point. The first body paragraph should not mix your past work with your request.
coherence and cohesion
Use short linking words correctly, such as “First”, “Also”, “As a result”, and “Finally”. Avoid long sentences with many ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Use a more formal opening and closing: “Dear Sir or Madam,” and “Yours faithfully,”. End with “I look forward to hearing from you.”
task response
You clearly ask for permission to work from home for six months.
task response
You give a real personal reason: your wife needs help near the birth.
coherence and cohesion
Your letter has clear paragraphs and uses words such as “Firstly”, “Secondly”, and “Finally”.
coherence and cohesion
You include both your benefit and a possible benefit for the company.
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