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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think that technology has made man's life more complex. Others believe that it has made life simpler. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

3.5 / 9
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Introduction
Nowadays, there is a debate about
the
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apply
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technology in our
lives
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. Some
people
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 believe that devices have made life more complex, whilst others argue
it
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that it
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 has simplified it.
This
Linking Words
is
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essay will discuss both views before explaining why I believe that modern devices have simplified our
lives
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.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, a myriad
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people
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of people
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 think that modern devices have
negative
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a negative
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 impact on our society.
This
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 is because now individuals have access to the internet, which means that they may lose face-to-face communication skills or deal with stress.
As a result
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, if they gave a priority to
the
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internet communication, they can
be
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become
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 addicted to video calls or chatting without real interaction.
For example
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, office workers who
addicted
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are addicted
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 to receive email from phone 24/7
, they
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apply
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 may
gain
Verb problem
experience
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 problems
such
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 as stress or a lack of interaction with other workers.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 think that technology
simplified
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has simplified
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 our
lives
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 for positive aspect.
This
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 means that
people
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 can easily contact others without
long
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a long
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period waiting
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wait
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.
Consequently
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,
people
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 may make good relationships with
other
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others
 on the internet without buying any tickets or spending money.
For instance
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, individuals in the past could wait one week to deliver their letters,
whereas
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 now they can contact
people
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 who live
in
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on
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 other
continent
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continents
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.
Conclusion
In conclusion, some
people
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 say that technology has made our
lives
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 more complex with additional
habit
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habits
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 to stress or losing communication skills.
However
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, I believe that it made our
lives
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 with
good
Add an article
a good
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 sense of interaction with others, without any spending.

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task response
You discuss both sides and give your own view, so you answer all parts of the question. Make your own view more clear from the start and explain it more fully in the last paragraph.
task response
Your ideas are relevant, but some are not fully explained. For example, show clearly how email and online contact make life hard, and how they also save time or money.
task response
Use more exact examples. The office worker example is useful, but explain what happens: workers may feel they must answer work emails at all times, even after work.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear four-part form: start, one side, the other side, and end. Keep this form, but make each main point easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Start each body paragraph with one clear main idea. Then give a reason, an example, and a short result. This will make your ideas flow better.
coherence and cohesion
Some links between ideas are not clear. Use simple linking words in a natural way, such as 'For this reason', 'However', 'Also', and 'As a result'.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid ideas that do not fit well together. In the second body paragraph, making friends online is not the same as quick contact. Choose one idea and develop it.
task response
You cover both views: technology can cause stress and less real-life talk, but it can also help people contact others quickly.
task response
Your opinion is clear: you believe modern technology has made life easier.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to see as four paragraphs, and the final paragraph gives a short summary of your view.
coherence and cohesion
You use some helpful signposts, such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', 'For example', and 'In conclusion'.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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