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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

some people believe that technology has made the lives of workers easier while other people disagree. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

3.5 / 9
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Introduction
In
this
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 modernised era, many individual thinks that technological
enhancement
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enhancements
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 have a positive effect on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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work life,
while
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 others oppose
this
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 statement. In my opinion, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. In
this
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 essay,
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 will discuss different arguments to support my opinion in the upcoming paragraphs.
Body paragraph 1
To commence with, one of the main
benefit
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benefits
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 of
inclusion
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the inclusion
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 of technology at work place is that
,
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apply
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 it takes out the burden from the employees. There are many works that could be done without the interference of humans, and with the support of different automations, they can focus more on things that are important.
Moreover
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, different innovations have made
jobholders life
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jobholders' lives
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 easy, as many innovations are made from time to time, because of which, we can achieve things which were
unapproachable
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unattainable
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 before.
For instance
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,
introduction
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the introduction
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 of cyberspace
have
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has
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 helped millions of people to handle crimes and have a safe space
while
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 working online.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, it
also
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 brings notable drawbacks that should not be overlooked. To illustrate,
digitalization
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digitalisation
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 is
also
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 known as job eater. Many industries have adapted these modernised products,
due to
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 which physical
work forces
Correct your spelling
workforces
 are not required anymore.
For example
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, recently,
USA
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the USA
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 cut off many
Indian originated
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Indian-origin
 private companies, which
consequently
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 deployed many associates.
Conclusion
To conclude
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, I firmly believe
,
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apply
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 that though technology has certain
disadvantage
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disadvantages
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 of
less
Correct determiner usage
fewer
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 job opportunities,
but
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apply
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it involves many interests that
could not
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cannot
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 be ignored.
However
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, everyone should enjoy them with consciousness.

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task response
State your view more clearly in the first paragraph. Say if you agree fully or only in part, then keep this same view through the essay.
task response
Develop each main idea further. Explain how machines save time, reduce hard work, or help people do work with fewer mistakes.
task response
Use real and clear examples. The example about cyberspace and crime is not closely linked to making workers' lives easier. Choose examples such as online meetings, computer records, or machines in factories.
task response
The point about job loss is relevant, but explain it more. Show why this makes life harder for some workers, and then explain why you still think the good points are stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two body paragraphs, and an end. However, some ideas move too fast. Add a short explanation after each main point before giving an example.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a natural way. Words such as 'first', 'also', 'however', 'for example', and 'therefore' can make the flow clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph. In the first body paragraph, focus only on how technology helps workers. In the second, focus only on job loss and other bad effects.
coherence and cohesion
Make the last paragraph stronger. Repeat your main view in simple words and sum up the two key reasons for it.
task response
You answer both sides of the question and give your own view.
task response
You include a good main point: technology can reduce hard and repeated work.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow because it has clear paragraphs and uses phrases such as 'On the other hand' and 'To conclude'.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both present, which gives the essay a clear shape.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Technological advancements
  • Streamlined workflow
  • Manual labor
  • Efficiency
  • Remote work
  • Work-life balance
  • Upskilling
  • Job insecurity
  • Automation
  • Always connected
  • Human interaction
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