IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

Food travels in thousands of miles from farm to the consumers. Many people think eating food from local people would be beneficial to the environment and the economy. This trend 's advantages outweigh disadvantages? (approximately 250 words)

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Introduction
People argued that eating local products
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 more advantages than
consume
Wrong verb form
consuming
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 foods that
trade
Wrong verb form
are traded
show examples
 from other cities. I believe there are more advantages than
disadvantage
Check wording
disadvantages
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 when buying local groceries. In
this
Linking Words
 essay i am going to elaborate my point of view.
Body paragraph 1
At
first,
Linking Words
when getting food from your collectivity. Folks do not have to pay shipping fees.
Therefore
Linking Words
, people will pay less to purchase them.
Also
Linking Words
, the products will be fresh, without
refrigerated
Replace the word
refrigeration
 for days.
Body paragraph 2
Secondly
Linking Words
, when shopping
vegetables
Change preposition
for vegetables
show examples
 that come from other cities, they spend many days over the road, because of the gas prices,
truckscompanies
Correct your spelling
truck companies
,
drivers
Punctuation problem
drivers,
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 all of these fees have to be added on the load. So, at the shop have to charge it all over the
merchandize
Change the spelling
merchandise
show examples
.
Conclusion
To
summarize
Change the spelling
summarise
show examples
, consuming local products
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 beneficial for
resident
Check wording
residents
show examples
 financially.
vegetables
Capitalize the word
Vegetables
show examples
 are fresh.

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task response
Give a clear answer to the full question. Say that the good points are stronger, then also explain one bad point, such as less food choice or higher local prices at some times.
task response
Your two main ideas are useful: local food can cost less and can be fresher. Explain each idea more. For example, say that short travel means less fuel use, so there is less harm to the air.
task response
Add real examples to make your ideas stronger. You could mention local fruit from a nearby farm, or food that does not need to travel by truck for many days.
task response
Write closer to the asked length. Your answer is much shorter than about 250 words, so there is not enough space to fully explain both sides.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple four-part plan: introduction, first good point, second good point with one bad point, and conclusion. This will make the essay easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each paragraph on one main idea. The first body paragraph can be about price and fresh food. The next can be about less travel and less harm to the environment.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more clearly: “First”, “Also”, “However”, “For example”, and “In conclusion”. Make sure each link joins full ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because the ideas are joined in the wrong way. For example, change “At first, when getting food from your collectivity” to “First, when people buy food from local farms, they do not pay as much for transport.”
task response
You give a clear main view: buying local food has more good points than bad points.
task response
You include relevant ideas about lower cost and fresher food.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an introduction, two main body parts, and a short ending.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “Therefore”, “Also”, and “To summarize” help show the order of your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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