IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The diagram below shows the structure of a home smokery and how it is used. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

4.0 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
The diagram below shows the structure of a home smokery and how it is used. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
The diagram illustrates the
process
Use synonyms
 of a home smokery and how it
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
operates.
Overall
Linking Words
, a home smokery
process
Use synonyms
 consists of three connected chambers, and beginning with fresh air
enters
Wrong verb form
entering
show examples
 through an open lid on the left side, and ending with the smoke
is
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 produced and directed into the food inside the box to complete the
process
Use synonyms
. In the initial stage,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fresh air enters the first
chamber
Use synonyms
 through an opening on the left side,
then
Linking Words
 the air is directed towards especific path in
lower
Add an article
the lower
show examples
 level into
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
the second
chamber
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
following
Capitalize the word
Following
show examples
this
Linking Words
,
woods
Add an article
the woods
show examples
 are burned using a fire inside the
chamber
Use synonyms
,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
 smoke is produced from the burned logs.
the
Capitalize the word
The
show examples
 smoke that
being
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 produced is directed into a tiny pipe into a larger
chamber
Use synonyms
 where the foods are stored. In the
last
Linking Words
 stage, the food is suspended in a box, where the fish and meat are exposed to the
somke
Correct your spelling
smoke
 to be used after the
process
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words process, chamber with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: