Directors and managers of organisations are often older people. Some people say that it is better for younger people to be leaders. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
More and more people think that younger
managers
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are more beneficial for
organisations
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than older
managers
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,
while
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other people may not agree with
this
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view. From my perspective, I completely believe that both opinions are equally important for two reasons.
Body paragraph 1
First of all, I would argue that allowing young individuals to be
leaders
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in the
organisations
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can improve the educational system by conveying experiences to them. The argument is that these active people will solve complicated problems effectively, which leads to a positive impact on their productivity.
This
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method results in many highly educated
leaders
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in their companies, ultimately leading to an increase in the number of successful companies in the country. A study conducted by the Department of Education at Melbourne University in 2025 concluded that the productivity of young
leaders
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was better than that of older ones by 75%.
Therefore
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, the performance of the educational system will be improved
due to
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the presence of
this
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strategy.
Body paragraph 2
In addition
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, I am convinced that older
leaders
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or
managers
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are crucial to enhancing the organisational aspect by leveraging expertise. What I mean is that those experienced employees can deal with different and difficult situations, allowing them to achieve challenging objectives.
This
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process will increase the number of successful
leaders
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, which in turn produces the outstanding
organisations
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in the country.
For instance
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, a manager in the communication department worked for 30 years in
this
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field is able to solve complicated issues and forecast future challenges.
As a result
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, the objective will be achieved if that method is taken into account.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I firmly believe that
while
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old directors have the ability to improve the
organisations
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due to
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their experiences, active and educated
managers
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are essential to achieve the same goal.

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task response
Your main view is not clear. You say younger leaders are better, but then you say both views are equally important. Choose one clear view and keep it from start to end.
task response
Explain more clearly why younger leaders may be better, or why both age groups should lead. Your first main point is about the school system, but the task is about organisations. Keep the ideas on work, staff, plans, and results in companies.
task response
Your examples need to be more direct. The study about young leaders is not explained, and the older manager example needs a full sentence. Use a simple work example, such as a young manager using new ideas or an older manager guiding a team in a hard time.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two body parts, and an end. This is good. However, some links between ideas are not clear, such as the move from young leaders to the educational system. Make each paragraph stay on one main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear topic sentences. For example: “Young leaders can help firms change fast.” Then explain this idea with one reason and one example. In the next paragraph, use: “Older leaders can also help because they have more work experience.”
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating the same result, such as “successful leaders” and “successful organisations,” without showing how one causes the other. Show the steps in a simple order: experience or new ideas → better choices → better work results.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence form and word order, as these can make the meaning hard to follow. For example, write: “A manager who has worked in communication for 30 years can solve hard problems and plan for future challenges.”
task response
You discuss both younger and older leaders, so you understand the two sides of the question.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay uses a helpful four-part shape: introduction, two main paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words such as “First of all,” “In addition,” and “In conclusion” to guide the reader.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Wealth of experience
  • Historical knowledge
  • Fresh perspectives
  • Innovative ideas
  • Adaptability
  • Technological advancements
  • Team cohesion
  • Morale
  • Calculated risks
  • Significant advancements
  • Mentorship
  • Transfer of knowledge
  • Energy and drive
  • Refined decision-making skills
  • Younger workforce
  • Leadership development
  • Organizational dynamics
  • Risk-taking mindset
  • Change management
  • Intergenerational collaboration
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