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Writing Samples
Band 5

The table below shows the water usage for different purposes in six different countries in 2004. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The table below shows the water usage for different purposes in six different countries in 2004. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The table illustrates the
water
Use synonyms
 consumption in Canada, the United Kingdom, China, Australia, India and Japan for domestic, industrial and
agricaltural
Correct your spelling
agricultural
purposes
Use synonyms
 in 2003.
Overall
Linking Words
, the usage of
water
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 for domestic
purposes
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 was the biggest in Canada and Australia,
while
Linking Words
 the spending on agricultural needs was the leader in
United
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the United
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 Kingdom, China, India and Japan in 2003. The United Kingdom, China and India used less than 11% of
water
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 for domestic
purposes
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 (5%, 6% and 10% respectively).
Similar
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A similar
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 situation took place for industrial needs, with
spend
Replace the word
spending
 of 5%, 7% and 8%.
However
Linking Words
, the three countries spent more than 80% on agricultural
purposes
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, with 90%, 87% and 82%. Canada and Australia spent most of the
water
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 on domestic
purposes
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, having 63% and 65%.
However
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 the second place for Canadians was industrial
purposes
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 (32%), the Australians spent about 33% on agricultural needs. Japan had
different
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a different
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water
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 usage pattern with 66% spent on agricultural needs, leaving 19% for domestic and 15% for industrial needs.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, purposes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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