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Writing Samples
Band 3

The chart below shows the percentage of households in owned and rented accommodation in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The chart below shows the percentage of households in owned and rented accommodation in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Overall
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 graph
chart
Check wording
apply
show examples
introduces the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of households in owned/rented accommodation in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011.
Initially
Linking Words
, the number of rented homes was more relevant in
1918
Punctuation problem
1918,
show examples
 almost 4 in 5 were rented rather
Linking Words
then
Use the right word
than
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 owned.
This
Linking Words
 continued in
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
1939,
apply
Wrong verb form
applying
show examples
 with sight
increase
Use synonyms
 in
ownership
Use synonyms
, the following decade
apply
Verb problem
apply
show examples
showed no major difference at all. Going into
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
1961
Punctuation problem
1961,
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 there was a comparable difference of about 2 in 5 were owned
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 rental was 3 in 5.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,1971 was the
chart
Check wording
year the chart
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completely
Verb problem
was completely
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 tied;
were
Use the right word
where
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 would we see an uprising among
ownership
Use synonyms
 in 1981 till,2011 with all having sight
difference
Check wording
differences
show examples
 between each other, only a 3/3.5 in 5 ratio. In the beginning, the number of rentals was noticeably low at, 20% compared to
ownership
Use synonyms
 of houses which was almost 80%, in 1918, regardless of rented being noticeably low it had a steady
increase
Use synonyms
 in,1939 with 10%
increase
Use synonyms
 and a lowering homeowners at 70% which was similar to ,1953, going into 1961 it had a consistent
increase
Use synonyms
 for rented at about 40% and a decrease for homeowners 60%, going on it was tied at same
percentage
Use synonyms
 in, 1971 as more and more were renting not buying anymore it continues at that pace as it was the first time renting at 60% overtooking
ownership
Use synonyms
 was about 40% same pattern occurred has it was much cheaper to rent them to own, in 1991 and 2001 was fairly the same at about 70% rental and 40% for owning.
Lastly
Linking Words
, in
2011
Punctuation problem
2011,
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 60% for renting
home
Check wording
homes
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 and 40% for owned homes. In conclusion owner had way more noticeably
percentage
Use synonyms
 in
early
Add an article
the early
show examples
 and
mid 19s
Correct your spelling
mid-19s
, Wales and England had more people preferring it,
Linking Words
However
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
as time goes
on
Punctuation problem
on,
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 more and more people found ranting cheaper in
late
Add an article
the late
show examples
 19s and early 20s
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 may have influenced the
percentage
Use synonyms
 rate that had heavily preferred it.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, increase, ownership with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • owner-occupied
  • accommodation
  • households
  • percentage
  • sozio-economic factors
  • post-World War I
  • housing policies
  • economic challenges
  • affordability
  • societal norms
  • mortgage availability
  • economic prosperity
  • reversal
  • property prices
  • younger generations
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