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some people think that having a university degree is the best way to secure a good job. however, others believe skills and expertise are ,more important. Discuss both sides and give opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge and experience.

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Introduction
Today,
job
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 markets are highly competitive for students to crack a full
time
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 employeement. For qualifying for a
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job-post
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job post
, both
knowledge
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 and ability are of great importance.
However
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, some people believe that high school education is the only possible way to achieve a dream work position for a
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student
Punctuation problem
student,
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while
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 others think that practical
skills
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 are far more important. Lets discucss both views.
Body paragraph 1
First
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The first
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 most argued statement is that, for a deep understanding of subjects related to any field, whether it is science, statistics, management or IT,
universities
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 are the institutions providing high-level education in every discipline.
Also
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, higher schools play a vital role as the centre of modern teaching methods. Graduates are considered the best fit for a specific
job
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 requisition, after having a degree with
experience
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 in field research, a variety of
knowledge
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 and familiarity with different software and tools.
For instance
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, most
universities
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 are teaching courses on Artificial Intelligence and modern technology to meet the needs of markets. In
universities
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, students go through with mutiple workshops, sessions, seminars and conferences which contribute to enhancing their understanding and boosting their confidence. In
this
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 way, they learn decision-making, which is extremely needed in workplaces.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, from the perspective of others,
skills
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 related to the targeted profession are far more necessary for students. Because hands-on
experience
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 is more valuable for organisations
as compared to
Correct word choice
than
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 crammed
knowledge
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. In university, a
student
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 has to spend a significant
time
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 of 4 years,
instead
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 he or she can invest
this
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 important
time
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 in learning a skill that benefits them at worplace as well. Obviously, education is important , but practical
experience
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 in the form of internships and diplomas is
better
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a better
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 way to get demanding
skills
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 in a shorter
time
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 period.
For example
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, a
student
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 learning human resource management must have expertise in MS Excel for salary analysis and performance management. So , practical
experience
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 makes a candidate the best suited for any piece of work.
Body paragraph 3
In my opinion, both
knowledge
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 and expertise are mandatory for competing for a particular
job
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 vacancy.
However
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, having a degree,
vacant from
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devoid of
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 hands-on
experience
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 and practical
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skills
Punctuation problem
skills,
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 would not be much beneficial for a
student
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's future.
Conclusion
I would like
to conclude
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 by saying that
universities
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 should focus on providing
field work
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fieldwork
experience
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 to their undergraduates.
Additionally
Linking Words
, they need to alter their method of teaching from traditional lecturing to exploration of
job
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 markets and practical expertise because these are crucial for any profession.

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Task response
You answer both sides and give your own view. Make your main view more clear from the start. Say if a degree or work skills should have more weight, and explain why.
Task response
Use the same key words as the question. The question is about a university degree, but you write “high school education” and “higher schools”. This may change the meaning. Use “university education” or “a university degree” instead.
Task response
Your examples are useful, such as AI courses and Excel in human resources. Add one more real work example to show why a degree and work skills can work well together.
Task response
Some ideas need more care. A diploma can be education, not always hands-on work. Explain clearly how an internship, job training, or work project gives skills.
Coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear four-part shape: opening, one side, the other side, and ending. This makes it easy to follow.
Coherence and cohesion
Keep each paragraph focused on one main point. In the first body paragraph, start with the value of a degree, then give only ideas that support it.
Coherence and cohesion
Use clear links between ideas. For example: “First,” “In addition,” “By contrast,” “For this reason,” and “As a result.” Do not overuse “Also” and “Obviously”.
Coherence and cohesion
Make some long sentences shorter. For example, “Graduates are considered the best fit...” has too many ideas at once. Split it into two or three short sentences.
Coherence and cohesion
Check word form and spelling because they can make links less clear: “employment,” “Let’s discuss,” “multiple,” and “workplace.”
Coherence and cohesion
Your ending repeats your view well. It would be stronger if it directly said that universities should join study with real work practice.
Task response
You discuss the value of university study and the value of practical skills, then give a clear view that both are needed.
Task response
The AI and Excel examples are linked to the topic and help show your ideas.
Coherence and cohesion
The body paragraphs are placed in a clear order: first the case for degrees, then the case for skills.
Coherence and cohesion
The conclusion gives a useful final idea about more field work in university study.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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