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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart compares the share of Britain’s population who consumed five or more portions of fruits and vegetables in their daily meals. The data is categorised according to gender and age.

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The bar chart compares the share of Britain’s population who consumed five or more portions of fruits and vegetables in their daily meals. The data is categorised according to gender and age.
The bar chart depicts the information about the British people's consumption of
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
 diet in their daily meals.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is crystal clear from the graphs that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 women
includes
Correct subject-verb agreement
include
show examples
 the highest amount of fruits and vegetables in their dietary needs,
whereas
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 adolescents consume the lowest proportion of fruits and veggies. Taking a closer look at the above-mentioned chart, a gradual increase was seen in the women's consumption from the
year
Use synonyms
 2001 to 2006, and it went from approximately 22 % to 35 %,
respectivelly
Correct your spelling
respectively
.
However
Linking Words
, in the next two years, a
declined
Replace the word
declining
 trend was observed, and by the end of 2008, only 30 per cent of women were
indulged into
Verb problem
engaged in
show examples
 healthy eating.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that,
men
Use synonyms
 remained constant from 2001 to 2003, with the percentage of almost 17. Meanwhile, it started growing eventually and reached its highest point of 27 % in the
year
Use synonyms
 2007,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 shows that within seven years, the proportion of
men
Use synonyms
 having fruits and vegetables
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 almost doubled.
Moreover
Linking Words
, children
also
Linking Words
 mirrored the path of
men
Use synonyms
, and showed consistency till the
year
Use synonyms
 2003, but after
that is
Linking Words
 increased significantly with little fluctuations, and ultimately reached its apex in the
year
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2007, with 26 per cent, and that was almost equal to
men
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, a little dip was noticed in the next
year
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 ingesting goes less than 25 %.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words year, men with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • portion
  • consumption
  • gender
  • age group
  • percentage
  • daily meals
  • recommendation
  • trend
  • health impact
  • government intervention
  • increase
  • decrease
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