IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Write a letter to the manager of your local bus service. They have recently made some changes to the bus services which created inconveniences for you. In your letter, explain: what are the changes what are the problems you are facing what part of the service would you like to change

7.5 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with the changes you have recently made to the bus services, which
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 caused serious inconveniences. One of the main drawbacks of the changes is that the timetable of
buses
Use synonyms
 has become shorter than it used to be, from 11 p.m. to 9 p.m. Another major disadvantage is the number of
buses
Use synonyms
, which are significantly reduced, leading to serious problems for local residents. One of the significant issues is that local people are encouraged to use their own vehicles, which can contribute significantly to increasing air pollution and the consumption of fossil fuels.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the lack of
buses
Use synonyms
 has given rise to traffic congestion, particularly in rush hours.
As a result
Linking Words
, these problems have made travelling across the city more difficult for local people. I would appreciate it if you could take appropriate action by changing the number of
buses
Use synonyms
 and increasing them to the previous number. I would
also
Linking Words
 be grateful if you could offer alternative options for people who work long hours, especially until 10 p.m. Thank you for your attention to these issues. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Mohammadreza Hadavi Bavil

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Explain more clearly how the new times and fewer buses affect you. For example, say if you cannot get home after work or have to wait a long time.
task response
Make your request more direct. Ask for buses to run later and more often, with clear times if you can.
coherence and cohesion
Your letter has a clear start, middle, and end. To make it easier to follow, put the bus changes in one short paragraph and the problems in the next one.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple links such as “because”, “so”, and “for this reason” to show how fewer buses lead to the problems you describe.
task response
You cover all the main parts: the changes, the problems, and what you want the manager to do.
coherence and cohesion
The opening and closing are polite, and your ideas are in a clear order.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: