IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Students nowadays study in higher education for many reasons. Many people
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
show examples
 that students must study
collage
Use the right word
college
show examples
 after high school,
while
Linking Words
 others oppose. I strongly agree
whith
Correct your spelling
with
 people who
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
show examples
 studying at university is the best path to have a good life
, in
Punctuation problem
. In
show examples
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will discuss the reasons why and give details about my opinion

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task response
Your opening gives your view, but it does not discuss both sides in enough detail. Add one main part about why some people choose college and one main part about why others start work after school.
task response
Give clear reasons for each view. For example, college can give skills and open more job doors. Starting work can give money, work skills, and real experience.
task response
Add a short example for each side. This will make your ideas more clear and more real.
task response
You say college is the best way to have a good life, but explain why. Link your view to better jobs, more skills, or more choice in the future.
coherence and cohesion
This is only an opening, so it needs more body parts and an ending. Use a clear plan: opening, one part for college, one part for work after school, your view, and a short ending.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple link words to guide the reader: 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', 'For example', 'However', and 'In my view'.
coherence and cohesion
Make your first sentence closer to the question. 'Students nowadays study in higher education for many reasons' is very broad. Say clearly that there are two views about college and work after school.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating 'people who think'. You can use 'supporters of college' and 'those who prefer work' to make the writing flow better.
task response
You clearly state your own view: you support studying at university.
coherence and cohesion
You tell the reader that you will discuss the reasons and give your opinion, so the opening has a clear aim.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Academic qualifications
  • Specialized skills
  • In-depth knowledge
  • Personal growth
  • Social development
  • Practical experience
  • Financial independence
  • Career progression
  • Professional networking
  • Education
  • Work experience
  • Successful career
  • Personal interests
  • Career goals
  • Decision-making process
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