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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Every year several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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Introduction
Languages
Use synonyms
 are an important part of communication , which represents the civilisation of a particular country. Some people think that there should be a lower number of
languages
Use synonyms
 in the world because it will bring comfort to our lives , as many of the tongues are vanishing from the globe yearly. I firmly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 point of view.
Body paragraph 1
Mother tongue is the introduction to the culture of a specific nation
,
Add a semicolon
;
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 if their way of speech diminishes,
then
Linking Words
 they are more likely to lose their recognition among several countries. The dialogue reflects a significant group of people, having its own historical background and origin. The language not only dies alone, but
also
Linking Words
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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leads to the descent of a whole history with it.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the specific set of letters and words exists in one country and varies
according to
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 other territories, leaving no harm
for
Change preposition
to
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 foreigners. The natives of
such
Linking Words
 a homeland feel comfortable and a sense of ownership
while
Linking Words
 proudly speaking their national tongue.
For instance
Linking Words
, China has a special Chinese language
that is
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 around 5000 years old heart of
heritage
Correct determiner usage
its heritage
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 , and Japanese nationals speak
in
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apply
show examples
Japanese.
Body paragraph 2
However
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, diminishing difficult
languages
Use synonyms
 will bring some ease , but only for outsiders
,
Add a semicolon
;
show examples
 the natives will face huge troubles in communication and day-to-day operations. That's why cutting down the
languages
Use synonyms
 is not an appreciated
thing
Punctuation problem
thing,
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 as it results in declining a nation's standpoint.
Additionally
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, there are alternatives for comfort that exist as well,
for example
Linking Words
, international language. Foreign students can easily negotiate and travel abroad
while
Linking Words
 having knowledge of an international tongue. English is the most spoken and recognised multinational
way of speech
Check wording
language
show examples
.
Conclusion
Having said that, I would like
to conclude
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 that hoping for
end
Add an article
the end
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 of a specific set of words would replace a nation's history and tradition.
Also
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, people should learn English to commute and study in new places because, today, it is a standard for foreigners.

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Task response
State your view clearly in the first part, then keep the same view in all body parts. You disagree, so explain more fully why language loss is bad and why fewer languages do not make life better for all people.
Task response
Develop each main idea with a clear reason and result. For example, say that when a language dies, stories, songs, and local knowledge may die too. Then explain why this matters.
Task response
Your China and Japan example shows that languages are linked to a people. Make it more direct: explain how a language keeps history and culture, not only that it is old or special.
Task response
The point about English is useful, but make clear that learning English as a shared language does not mean local languages should die. This is an important answer to the other side of the question.
Coherence and cohesion
Use a simpler four-part plan: introduction, one body part on culture and history, one body part on daily life and a shared world language, then conclusion.
Coherence and cohesion
Start each body part with one clear main sentence. Then give one reason, one example, and a short link back to your view. This will make your ideas easier to follow.
Coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care: 'First', 'Also', 'However', 'For example', and 'Therefore'. Do not use 'Having said that' in the conclusion because it can sound like you are changing your view.
Coherence and cohesion
Some phrases are hard to understand, such as 'the descent of a whole history' and 'a nation's standpoint'. Use plain words, for example: 'a country may lose part of its history and culture.'
Task response
You give a clear opinion against the idea that fewer languages are better.
Task response
You discuss both culture and practical travel or study, so your answer addresses more than one side of the topic.
Coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two main body parts, and a conclusion.
Coherence and cohesion
You use examples and linking words such as 'For instance', 'However', and 'Additionally' to connect ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Linguistic diversity
  • Cultural heritage
  • Language extinction
  • Communication barrier
  • Linguistic imperialism
  • Endangered languages
  • Language revitalization
  • Monolingual
  • Multilingual
  • Language preservation
  • Homogenization
  • Language policy
  • Cultural assimilation
  • Intangible heritage
  • Indigenous languages
  • Globalization
  • Dialects
  • Localization
  • Language documentation
  • Digital archiving
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