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Band 6.5

The given three pie chart compares the average spending on four kind of food by people in China, India and all over the world in the year 2008 period.

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The given three pie chart compares the average spending on four kind of food by people in China, India and all over the world in the year 2008 period.
The given pie chart illustrates the information about the expenditure on different kinds of
food
Use synonyms
 by the natives of
India
Use synonyms
,
China
Use synonyms
 and all over the world in 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is crystal clear from the chart that the highest proportion of money was spent upon processed
food
Use synonyms
 by
India
Use synonyms
 and other states,
whereas
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the lowest preference was given to animal
food
Use synonyms
 in
China
Use synonyms
. Taking a closer look at
above-mentioned
Add an article
the above-mentioned
show examples
 pie chart, the
world-wide
Correct your spelling
worldwide
 individuals used 41% of their salary on processed
food
Use synonyms
,
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is the highest in comparison
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
India
Use synonyms
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 39%, and
China
Use synonyms
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 34%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Chinese people
expanded
Verb problem
spent
show examples
 32 per cent
on
Change preposition
of their money on
show examples
 vegetables and fruits,
while
Linking Words
 other international countries
gave up
Verb problem
spent
show examples
 29 per cent of their money on it,
whereas
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
India
Use synonyms
 comprises
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
only 23%, which is the lowest of all.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that, Indian people uses biggest amount of their monetary value on animal
food
Use synonyms
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
percentage
Add an article
a percentage
show examples
 of 27 in comparison to other products, though
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the world shared 26 %, and
China
Use synonyms
 spent the least of their income on
this
Linking Words
 kind of
food
Use synonyms
.
Along with
Linking Words
 that, nuts and seeds were
least
Add an article
the least
show examples
 popular in
India
Use synonyms
 and other nations, with 11% and 4% of expenditure, respectively.
However
Linking Words
, 19 per cent of
chinese
Capitalize the proper name
Chinese
show examples
 natives contributed in
this
Linking Words
 regard.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words food, india, china with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "comparison" was used 2 times.
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