IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays many people chose to be self employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self employed?

5.0 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
It has been discussed that workers are now choosing to be self-employed
instead
Linking Words
 of corporate work.
This
Linking Words
 could be a positive trend in terms of more freedom and better profits, but could
also
Linking Words
 offer many
disavantages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
 to the
worker
Use synonyms
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as job
unstability
Correct your spelling
instability
 and less job security.
Body paragraph 1
Firstly
Linking Words
, working for yourself could
simbolyze
Correct your spelling
symbolise
 the ultimate
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 independence. The
worker
Use synonyms
 can choose which kind of project they would like to do and organise their own time
;
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 without having to follow
strict
Add an article
a strict
show examples
 corporate hierarchy.
In addition
Linking Words
, by being self-employed, the
worker
Use synonyms
 can
also
Linking Words
 have his own profit, not having to rely on a defined wage.
Moreover
Linking Words
, working
independetly
Correct your spelling
independently
 can be positive as the
worker
Use synonyms
 can fit their own schedule, in case they have other commitments or children.
Body paragraph 2
However
Linking Words
, not working for a corporation could be less advantageous than
what
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
it looks
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.
Although
Linking Words
 it gives the person higher freedom, it
also
Linking Words
 offers
unstability
Correct your spelling
instability
. Being employed by an organisation represents access to private health insurance, childcare funding,
finantial
Correct your spelling
financial
 support for studies and specialisation
;
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 and some other benefits. In my opinion, it seems that being self-employed represents the opposite of all of that. On top of that, working on your own implies irregular work schedules or even more working hours - there are no limits or restrictions, and you can
end-up
Correct your spelling
end up
 answering phone calls or e-mails on a Sunday night from home.
Conclusion
In conclusion, even though self-employment represents ideas of freedom and better income, could be more streesfull on the
long-term
Correct your spelling
long term
due to
Linking Words
 insecurity and less access to benefits.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer both parts in a more direct way. Give clear reasons why people choose this work, then give clear bad points. Add one real or clear example, such as a designer who can choose jobs but may have no work for some months.
task response
Develop each main idea more. For example, explain how higher pay may happen: the person keeps more of the money from each job. Also explain how no fixed pay can make it hard to plan for rent, food, or family needs.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an end. To make the flow better, use simple links more carefully: “One reason is…”, “Another reason is…”, “However…”, and “As a result…”.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each paragraph focused on one main point. In the first body paragraph, freedom, pay, and time are all useful, but they need clearer links. In the second, group work safety, money help, and long hours under the main idea of less safety and more pressure.
language accuracy
Check common spelling and word form errors. For example: “choose” not “chose”, “disadvantages” not “disavantages”, “unstable” or “instability” not “unstability”, “financial” not “finantial”, “independently” not “independetly”, and “stressful” not “streesfull”.
language accuracy
Use complete sentence forms. For example, write: “Self-employment could be more stressful in the long term because it brings less job safety and fewer work benefits.” Avoid a sentence that starts with “could be” without a clear subject.
task response
You cover both the reasons for self-employment and its bad sides. Your ideas about freedom, flexible time, job safety, and long work hours are on topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your writing has a clear overall shape: an introduction, a paragraph for reasons, a paragraph for bad points, and a conclusion. The use of “Firstly”, “However”, and “In conclusion” helps the reader follow your ideas.
task response
The point about answering calls and e-mails at home on a Sunday night is clear and shows the real pressure that can come with working for yourself.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: