IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

some pp believe that public buildings should be move out of the city to promote citizen's well-being and better growth, while some argue that the planning will cause more harm than good. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

5.5 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
Some people think that university
education
Use synonyms
 should be free for everyone,
while
Linking Words
 others believe
students
Use synonyms
 should pay for their higher
education
Use synonyms
. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Body paragraph 1
Higher
education
Use synonyms
 plays a vital role in personal growth and national development, yet the question of whether it should be funded by the government or paid for by
students
Use synonyms
 remains contentious.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both perspectives before explaining why I believe that free university
education
Use synonyms
 is essential for society.
Body paragraph 2
On the one hand, charging tuition fees helps maintain high educational standards. Universities require substantial financial resources to upgrade campus facilities, conduct advanced research, and attract qualified professors. When
students
Use synonyms
 pay tuition, institutions receive the necessary funding to sustain these academic improvements.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, financial contributions often encourage learners to take their studies more seriously and value the educational opportunities provided to them.
Conclusion
On the other hand
Linking Words
, providing free university
education
Use synonyms
 ensures equal opportunities for all qualified individuals regardless of their financial background. When tuition is covered by the state, talented
students
Use synonyms
 from low-income families are not deterred from pursuing degrees
due to
Linking Words
 massive student loans or debt.
Consequently
Linking Words
, a tuition-free system creates a more educated workforce and promotes social mobility. Talented minds can contribute meaningfully to the economy without the burden of financial stress

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
You discuss both sides clearly and give your own view in the first part. However, the essay stops before a full ending. Add a last paragraph that repeats your view and says why free study is best overall.
task response
Develop your own view more fully. Explain how the state could pay for free university, for example through tax money, and why this cost is worth it for the country.
task response
Use one clear real-life example in each main paragraph. For example, mention a poor but able student who cannot study if fees are too high, or a university that needs fees for labs and staff.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraph order is clear: first one side, then the other side. Keep this plan, but add a short final paragraph so the whole essay feels complete.
coherence and cohesion
Your linking words, such as “Furthermore”, “On the other hand”, and “Consequently”, help the reader follow your ideas. Try not to use too many long sentences in one paragraph; split some of them for a clearer flow.
coherence and cohesion
Make the link between each point and the main question even clearer. At the end of each body paragraph, add one sentence to show how that point affects students, universities, or the country.
task response
You address both views: fees can help universities keep good staff and buildings, while free study can give poor students a fair chance.
task response
Your main ideas are clear and stay on the topic. The point about student debt and a better workforce is strong.
coherence and cohesion
The opening gives a clear map of the essay, and the two body paragraphs are easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Each body paragraph has a main point, an explanation, and a result. This gives your writing a clear shape.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: