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Band 4.5

The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in an European country bbetween 1979 and 2004

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The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in an European country bbetween 1979 and 2004
The
overall
Linking Words
 trend of the
consumption
Use synonyms
 of fish and other kinds of
meat
Use synonyms
 in
an
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 European country has decreased between 1979 and 2004 .
However
Linking Words
 ,
chicken
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
 has
rose
Wrong verb form
risen
show examples
 sharply and became the most popular
meat
Use synonyms
 by the end of the period.
According to
Linking Words
 the graph, the
consumption
Use synonyms
 figure of
chicken
Use synonyms
 in 1979
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 around 150
grams
Use synonyms
 per
person
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it
has
Wrong verb form
apply
show examples
rose
around
Change preposition
to around
show examples
 100
grams
Use synonyms
 per
person
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
 in 2004.
Chicken
Use synonyms
 overtook
beef
Use synonyms
 around the late 1980s or early 1990s and continued to increase afterwards.
Beef
Use synonyms
 and lamb
consumption
Use synonyms
 has declined
overall
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
beef
Use synonyms
 showed some fluctuations in the early years.
According to
Linking Words
 the graph, the
consumption
Use synonyms
 figure of
beef
Use synonyms
 in 1979
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 around 210
grams
Use synonyms
 per
person
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 decreased
around
Change preposition
to around
show examples
 100
grams
Use synonyms
 per
person
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
 in 2004. Other than that , the
consumption
Use synonyms
 figure of fish has
remianed
Correct your spelling
remained
 steady
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to other kinds of
meat
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 changed very little over the 25-year period. In
conclude
Replace the word
conclusion
,
chicken
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
 rose sharply and became the most popular
meat
Use synonyms
 by the end of the period.
However
Linking Words
 , other kinds of
meat
Use synonyms
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 declined.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to, however, overall".
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words consumption, meat, chicken, grams, person, week, beef with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 5 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • overall trend
  • a sharp increase
  • a gradual decline
  • a steady fall
  • fluctuate slightly
  • remain relatively stable
  • reach a peak
  • drop significantly
  • overtake beef
  • the most popular choice
  • the least consumed item
  • consumption figure
  • weekly consumption
  • per person
  • at the beginning of the period
  • by the end of the period
  • a noticeable gap
  • a similar pattern
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