In some countries, many children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people say it is the responsibility of governments to solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Introduction

In some regions around the world, more and more

kids

Use synonyms

become

Wrong verb form

are becoming

show examples

overweight and unhealthy. Some individuals believe that policymakers are responsible

to solve

Change preposition

for solving

show examples

this

Linking Words

problem. I

utterely

Correct your spelling

utterly

agree with

this

Linking Words

when some of those

people

Use synonyms

are unhealthy, because they live in places

are

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

lack

Change preposition

apply

show examples

sports

Use synonyms

facilities

Use synonyms

. The other purpose

Linking Words

also

Rephrase

apply

show examples

is that some unhealthy

food

Use synonyms

is affordable for

children

Use synonyms

in cheap prices. So, it is governments' responsibility to solve both of these problems

rathar

Correct your spelling

rather

than anyone else.

Body paragraph 1

Firstly

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

who live in areas that do not have

sports

Use synonyms

facilities

Use synonyms

may be more likely to end up unhealthy. Some far areas from big cities and rural

one

Check wording

ones

show examples

may not all have

sports

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facilities

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such

Linking Words

as gyms. With

this

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

who live there may find it

diffecult

Correct your spelling

difficult

to play

such

Linking Words

sports

Use synonyms

As a result

Linking Words

, they may

gain

Use synonyms

weight

Use synonyms

overtime with eating without playing

sports

Use synonyms

. Authorities there are responsible to provide those

kids

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with

sports

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facilities

Use synonyms

around them.

Then

Linking Words

kids

Use synonyms

who do not play

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

because they do not have these

facilities

Use synonyms

around them.

This

Linking Words

may be likely to encourage them to play and

excercize

Correct your spelling

exercise

in these

facilities

Use synonyms

Consequently

Linking Words

kids

Use synonyms

who

gain

Use synonyms

weight

Use synonyms

because of

this

Linking Words

may decrease with

this

Linking Words

sulotion

Correct your spelling

solution

Body paragraph 2

Secondly

Linking Words

, unhealthy

food

Use synonyms

may be affordable for

children

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Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

when lawmakers

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

able to stop

this

Linking Words

. Many

children

Use synonyms

may still take money from their parents. Those

children

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may spend

these

Fix the agreement mistake

this

show examples

money on

sugarey

Correct your spelling

sugary

food

Use synonyms

which

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

unhealthy behind their

parents back

Check wording

parents' backs

show examples

This

Linking Words

sort

Use synonyms

food

Change preposition

of food

show examples

can cause problems

such

Linking Words

as obesity and overweight, especially

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

if they are eating

them oftently

Fix the agreement mistake

it often

show examples

In addition

Linking Words

this sort

Correct word order

these sorts of food

show examples

food

Use synonyms

's prices may be different, but many of them are often affordable for

children

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This

Linking Words

is because many companies that make

these

Fix the agreement mistake

this

show examples

sort of

food

Use synonyms

products

Use synonyms

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

are making cheap versions

as well as

Linking Words

expensive

one

Fix the agreement mistake

ones

show examples

. So, they can be affordable for

children

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who

take

Verb problem

get

show examples

money from their parents. Lawmakers can prevent those

children

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from buying these

products

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with

Change preposition

show examples

imposing taxes on them.

As a result

Linking Words

, these

products

Use synonyms

can become expensive for

those

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

children

Use synonyms

to buy

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

Then

Linking Words

, they may be convinced to eat from their home

instead

Linking Words

of buying these

products

Use synonyms

At the end

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

who

gain

Use synonyms

weight

Use synonyms

from these

products

Use synonyms

would decrease

overtime

Use the right word

over time

show examples

Conclusion

In conclusion, I completely agree with

this

Linking Words

statement, because many places may not have

sports

Use synonyms

facilities

Use synonyms

Additionally

Linking Words

, unhealthy

products

Use synonyms

that can cause

children

Use synonyms

gain

Use synonyms

weight

Use synonyms

are affordable to them. All these can cause

people

Use synonyms

to be unhealthy and overweight, but governments are able to prevent them with

sulotions

Correct your spelling

solutions

that I provided in the paragraphs.

iiikareemali

Oct 30, 2026

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task response

Your answer has a clear view: you agree that the government should act. Keep this view clear from the first line to the end.

task response

Explain the key words in the question more fully. The topic is about many children, but your ideas often move to all people. Say “children” in each main part and show why the problem affects them.

task response

Your two main ideas are useful: sport places and cheap bad food. However, the question asks how far you agree. Add one short point that parents, schools, and food firms also have a part, while the government has the main part.

task response

Use more real and clear examples. For example, a town can build free play areas near homes, or put a tax on sweet drinks and use the money for school sport.

task response

Some claims need a clearer link. A gym may help, but children also need safe parks, school games, and time to play. Show how each plan can lead to less weight gain.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a good four-part shape: start, two main parts, and end. Keep one main idea in each body part.

coherence and cohesion

Several lines are not full sentences or repeat the same point. For example, “Then, kids who do not play...” should be made into one full, clear sentence.

coherence and cohesion

Use fewer linking words such as “Then”, “As a result”, and “Consequently”. At times they make the writing feel repeated. Use them only when the next idea is truly a result.

coherence and cohesion

Make the first line of each body part state the main point in a direct way. Then give an explanation, one example, and the result. This will make the flow easier to follow.

coherence and cohesion

Avoid unclear words such as “this”, “those people”, and “these products” when the reader may not know the exact meaning. Name the idea again, such as “cheap sweet food” or “local sport areas”.

task response

You answer every main part of the question and give a firm opinion.

task response

The ideas about free sport places and higher prices for bad food are on topic and can work well.

coherence and cohesion

The introduction states your view, and the ending returns to the same view.

coherence and cohesion

The use of “Firstly” and “Secondly” helps the reader see the two main ideas.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
9
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

4.5

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

420 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

epidemic
obesity
regulate
sedentary lifestyle
nutritional education
caloric intake
lifestyle diseases
physical inactivity
public health campaigns
regulatory measures
junk food
health initiatives
fiscal policies
metabolic disorders
parental guidance

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In some countries, many children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people say it is the responsibility of governments to solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science as a subject. What are the causes? And what will be the effects on society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

3)Although countries with long average working hours are economically successful, this often has some negative social consequences. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many things that used to be done in the home by hands are now being done by machines. Does this development bring more advantages or disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The tendency for human beings to copy one another is shown in the popularity of fashion in clothes and other consumer goods. Do you agree or disagree?