History tells that people have afternoon thought about creating and ideal society, but, most of the times fail in making this happen. What is your opinion about an ideal society? how can we create an ideal society?

5.0 / 9

Band scoreView breakdown ↓

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →

Introduction

People

Use synonyms

have always dreamed of creating an ideal

society

Use synonyms

, but achieving

this

Linking Words

goal is not easy. In my opinion, an ideal

society

Use synonyms

is one where

people

Use synonyms

are treated equally and live in peace.

Such

Linking Words

society

Use synonyms

can be created through collective efforts of

individuals

Use synonyms

and the

government

Use synonyms

, quality

education

Use synonyms

Linking Words

as well as

Correct word choice

and

show examples

the implementation of effective laws.

Body paragraph 1

In my opinion,

ideal

Add an article

an ideal

show examples

society

Use synonyms

means

Verb problem

is one

show examples

in which

people

Use synonyms

are treated equally, and have access to

avail

Verb problem

apply

show examples

the basic facilities. In

such

Linking Words

Use synonyms

society

Add an article

a society

show examples

individuals

Use synonyms

are not discriminated against on the basis of gender, race, religion and cast etcetera.

Even all

Rephrase

All

show examples

people

Use synonyms

enjoy

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

equal opportunities in different sectors

whether

Punctuation problem

, whether

show examples

they are

healthcare

Change preposition

in healthcare

show examples

education

Use synonyms

employment

Add an article

the employment

show examples

sector.

For instance

Linking Words

, countries

who

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

provide free

education

Use synonyms

and medication to their citizens

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

are leading

better

Add an article

a better

show examples

quality of life by reducing social inequality among them.

Consequently

Linking Words

, equality and fairness are key factors in the

overall

Linking Words

development of a nation.

Body paragraph 2

One of the best ways to create an ideal

society

Use synonyms

is through the joint efforts of

individuals

Use synonyms

and the

government

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

is because

individuals

Use synonyms

can follow rules, respect others and obey laws,

while

Linking Words

the

government

Use synonyms

can ensure everyone individual

should receive

Wrong verb form

receives

show examples

quality

education

Use synonyms

, healthcare facilities, and employment opportunities.

For example

Linking Words

Fix capitalization

show examples

every part of the world, citizens pay taxes

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and obey the rules and regulations of a particular country.

Likewise

Linking Words

, the official authorities provide essential public services and welfare programmes.

As a result

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

kind of contribution from both sides is essential for the social security of the nation.

Conclusion

In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

have tried to create an ideal

society

Use synonyms

, they often fail to achieve it. I believe that an ideal

society

Use synonyms

can be created through social equality, public services, and the combined efforts of citizens and the

government

Use synonyms

. When everyone fulfils their responsibilities, peace and harmony can be achieved.

kaurjagdeep2097

Oct 31, 2026

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

You answer both parts of the task: you say what an ideal society is and how it can be made. To make your answer stronger, explain more clearly why equal rights, good schools, health care, and jobs lead to peace and a better life.

task response

Some ideas are repeated, especially equal treatment and basic services. Add one more clear idea, such as fair courts, safe streets, or help for poor people, and explain how it would work.

task response

Your examples are linked to the topic, but they are quite general. Give one more real or clear example. For example, explain how free school can help children from poor homes get better jobs.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear order: introduction, two main parts, and conclusion. Keep this strong plan in each paragraph by starting with one main idea and then giving an explanation and example.

coherence and cohesion

Use linking words with care. Words such as “For instance”, “Consequently”, and “As a result” are useful, but make sure the next sentence shows the exact result of the idea before it.

coherence and cohesion

Some sentences are hard to follow because of grammar. For example, write “An ideal society is one in which people are treated equally” instead of “ideal society means in which people are treated equally.” Clearer sentences will make the links between ideas easier to see.

coherence and cohesion

Avoid long lists in one sentence. Break them into shorter sentences. This will help the reader follow your point about what people and the government should do.

task response

You give a clear view of an ideal society: people have equal rights, peace, and basic services.

task response

You include both citizens and the government, so your answer covers the full question.

coherence and cohesion

The introduction clearly shows your main ideas, and the conclusion brings them together well.

coherence and cohesion

Each body paragraph has a main point and an example, which helps the essay move in a clear way.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

5.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

301 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

ideal society = a very good and fair society
equal chance = the same opportunity for everyone
fair laws = rules that treat people justly
basic needs = food, water, home, and health care
social trust = belief that people and systems will do the right thing
corruption = dishonest or illegal behavior by people in power
community support = help from family, friends, and neighbors
affordable housing = homes that people can pay for
fair pay = a just amount of money for work
reduce inequality = make the gap between rich and poor smaller
public services = services such as schools, hospitals, and transport
quality education = good teaching and learning
social stability = a calm and safe society
shared values = common beliefs like respect and kindness
work together = cooperate with others
care for others = show kindness and support
long-term future = life in the years ahead
green spaces = parks and natural areas in a city
rule of law = everyone follows the law, even leaders
build a better world = improve life for all people

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
It is becoming increasingly popular for people to travel to tourist destinations during public holidays. What problems does this cause? What solutions are there to these problems?
In today's world, the popularity of visiting new places during holidays is growing rapidly. However, this surge in tourism raises concerns for the host countries, including the destruction of natural sites and increased pollution. To address these issues, governments should promote awareness and enforce stricter rules and regulations.
7.5
band
Water pollution has been an increasing problem over the last few decades. What causes water pollution? How can we prevent this problem?
Water contamination always is a chronic conundrum for humankind and has worsened in the last few decades, which can be driven by human activities. However, this issue can be mitigated by encompassing the following remedies.
6
band
The food travels thousands of miles from farm to consumer. Some people think it would be better to our environment and economy if people only ate local produced food. What extend does the advantage outweigh disadvantage?
It is certainly true that our environment and economy would be better if native people ate local production. While accepting that, I believe that eating local food is more likely to have negative outcomes.
6
band
In most successful organisations, some people believe that communication between managers and workers is important, other people say that other factors are more important. What is your opinion?
When it comes to a corporation’s success, many people place more importance on connections between executives and staff than other factors. In my opinion, while communication between different management levels is vital, other determinants are of equal significance.
7
band
Some people think that it is a waste of time for high school students to study literature, such as novels and peoms. To what extend do you agree and disagree?
There is a belief that says, students should not learn or gain knowledge about literature subjects such as novels and poems, because it is a waste of time and effort, I deeply disagree with the statement because literature can give us strong views towards life and also can change us to become better humans in such many ways.

History tells that people have afternoon thought about creating and ideal society, but, most of the times fail in making this happen. What is your opinion about an ideal society? how can we create an ideal society?

It is becoming increasingly popular for people to travel to tourist destinations during public holidays. What problems does this cause? What solutions are there to these problems?

Water pollution has been an increasing problem over the last few decades. What causes water pollution? How can we prevent this problem?

The food travels thousands of miles from farm to consumer. Some people think it would be better to our environment and economy if people only ate local produced food. What extend does the advantage outweigh disadvantage?

In most successful organisations, some people believe that communication between managers and workers is important, other people say that other factors are more important. What is your opinion?

Some people think that it is a waste of time for high school students to study literature, such as novels and peoms. To what extend do you agree and disagree?