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Band 4.5

Some people believe that artificial intelligence (AI) will replace many jobs in the future, while others think it will create new opportunities for workers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
Some individuals say that AI is able to replace
humans'
Correct word choice
human
show examples
jobs
Use synonyms
 in the future.
However
Linking Words
, others think it can do the opposite of
this
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 to obtain new opportunities for employees. For me, the first view is right when AI is able to do services that other
people
Use synonyms
 do. I will discuss
this
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 more in depth with the other view
also
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 in the next
paragrapghs
Correct your spelling
paragraphs
.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, workers who are not satisfied with their current work AI may be able to help them to find
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 one
for them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. Generally, AI is designed to give
people
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 what they are asking
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
for. For some
this
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 techology users who need better
jobs
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 than they are
working currently
Correct word order
currently working,
show examples
 it can help with
this
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.
For example
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, if those
people
Use synonyms
 gave AI their CVs attached with their needs, it might reply with current suitable
jobs
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 for them.
In addition
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, it can help them to meet the requirements for these
jobs
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 with their current
potintials
Correct your spelling
potentials
. So,
this
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 can be helpful for those
people
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 to be able to apply for better
jobs
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.
As a result
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, AI can help them to work the
jobs
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 they need,
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at
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in
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 the end.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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,
this
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 technology
is
Correct word order
can also
show examples
also
Linking Words
 can do other
Use synonyms
people
Check wording
people's
show examples
jobs
Use synonyms
. Since the time AI has been accessible for public usage,
people
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use
Wrong verb form
have used
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 it to help them with their work. From those
people
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 may be writers with editing their texts. Those
people
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 can give their texts
with asking
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to edit them from grammar and other mistakes
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
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 technology.
Then
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, it can give them the texts again with what they are asking for. So, they
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
no longer need to hire editors to do
this
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 task when they are able to do it with AI and save money.
As a result
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,
jobs
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such
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 as editors may be more likely
replaced
Verb problem
to be replaced
show examples
 by AI in the future.
Conclusion
Personally,
although
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 AI is able to help
people
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 to find better
jobs
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 than their current
one
Fix the agreement mistake
ones
show examples
 and to meet these
Use synonyms
jobs
Check wording
jobs'
show examples
 requirements.
This
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techology
Correct your spelling
technology
 is
also
Linking Words
 able to replace other
Use synonyms
people
Check wording
people's
show examples
jobs
Use synonyms
, because it does the same services for
people
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Discuss both sides more fully. The first body paragraph is about AI helping people find work, but this is not clearly the view that AI will create new jobs. Explain what new work AI may create, such as jobs to build, check, and run AI.
task response
Make your own view clear from the start and keep it the same. You say AI will replace jobs, but you also say it can help people get better work. State that AI may create some work, yet it may take more jobs than it makes.
task response
Give more full examples. Your example about editors is clear, but explain which parts of editing AI can do and why some human editors may still be needed.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clearer plan: introduce both views and your view; write one paragraph on new work; write one paragraph on lost work; then finish with your view.
coherence and cohesion
Start each body paragraph with a direct main idea. For example: “AI may create new kinds of work.” Then explain this idea before giving an example.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a more natural way. Words such as “however”, “for example”, “as a result”, and “therefore” can help, but do not use “as a result” at the end of every paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid long or unclear sentences. For example, “workers who are not satisfied with their current work AI may be able to help them” is hard to follow. Write: “AI may help workers who want a better job.”
task response
You answer both parts of the question and give your own view.
task response
The example of writers using AI to check text is relevant and easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two main body paragraphs, and a final paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
You use helpful linking words, such as “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, “For example”, and “However”.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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