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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
Given that university education has become increasingly important in modern society, there is considerable debate about whether
students
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 should study additional
subjects
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 alongside their main qualifications.
While
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 some individuals believe that exploring other disciplines offers significant benefits, others argue that
students
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 should devote their full attention to their chosen fields.
Although
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 both perspectives have merit, I believe that studying additional
subjects
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 can be highly beneficial.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, proponents of studying additional
subjects
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 argue that doing so plays a crucial role in
students
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' academic and professional development. One of the main reasons supporting
this
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 perspective is that learning across different disciplines broadens
students
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'
knowledge
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 and strengthens their academic profiles.
Furthermore
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, acquiring additional skills can improve their future educational and employment opportunities.
This
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 is particularly evident in scientific research, where
knowledge
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 of
subjects
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such
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 as mathematics and computer science can complement a student's primary field of study. By exploring different disciplines,
students
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 can develop a broader understanding of complex concepts and become better prepared for future challenges.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, some people believe that
students
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 should concentrate exclusively on their main
subjects
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. Admittedly, additional courses can provide valuable
knowledge
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.
Nevertheless
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, one of the major concerns is that studying too many
subjects
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 may divide
students
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' time and attention.
This
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 could negatively affect their academic performance, particularly when they struggle to balance multiple responsibilities. Given that obtaining a university qualification requires considerable effort and commitment, prioritising core
subjects
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 may be more beneficial for
students
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 who are already facing demanding academic schedules.
Conclusion
Taking everything into consideration,
although
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 focusing exclusively on a main qualification has certain advantages, I believe that studying additional
subjects
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 is more beneficial
overall
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.
This
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 is because a broader range of
knowledge
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 and skills can enhance
students
Use synonyms
' academic development and prepare them for future opportunities.

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task response
You discuss both views and give your own view clearly. To make your ideas stronger, add one more clear real-life example for each side.
task response
Your main points are clear, but some are quite general. Explain more about how extra subjects help in real jobs, and why a full main course may need all of a student's time.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: start, two main parts, and an end. Each part stays on one main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Your linking words are used well. Still, try not to use the same type of long start too often. Use short links such as 'For example', 'As a result', and 'In this way' where they fit.
coherence and cohesion
The last part repeats your view clearly. You could make it even stronger by briefly showing when students should not take extra subjects, such as when their main course is very hard.
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you explain both views and clearly state that learning other subjects is better overall.
task response
The example of maths and computer science helping science study is relevant and helps show your point.
coherence and cohesion
The four-part plan is easy to follow, with a clear start, one part for each view, and a final answer.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', 'Nevertheless', and 'This is because' help the reader follow your ideas.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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