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Band 4.5

Students are becoming more and more reliant on technology. What are some of the problems associated with reliance on computers, and what are some of the possible solutions?

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Introduction
IT IS
FACT
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A FACT
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 THAT TECHNOLOGY IS EMPLOYED MORE AND MORE TODAY. THERE ARE SEVERAL ROOT
CAUSE
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CAUSES
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 OF THE
STUDENTS
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 WHO CHOOSE TECHNOLOGY CONSTITUTED THE LARGEST PROPORTION IN SOCIETY OF
PRESENT
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THE PRESENT
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 TIME.
HOWEVER
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, A FEW REMEDIES COULD BE OFFERED TO RESOLVE THE SITUATION TO A LARGE EXTENT. BOTH THE REASONS AND THE MEASURES ARE ELABORATED
FURTHER
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.
Body paragraph 1
EXAMINING THE PROBLEMS, THE MOST COMMON IS THAT
STUDENTS
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 WITH
VIRTUAL
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A VIRTUAL
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 ASSISTANT LIKE AI CAN ALWAYS TAKE THE HIGHEST SCORE IN ALL TESTS WITH MINIMUM WORK WITH THEMSELVES,
WHILE
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 THE OTHERS CAN NOT DEMONSTRATE COMPETITION FOR AI.
THIS
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 IS BECAUSE THE STUDENT WHO APPLY THE AI EVERY DAY FOR EACH SIMPLE TASK, WILL HAVE
THE
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apply
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SOME KIND OF ADDICTION, AND
IT IS CLEAR THAT
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 HE CAN NOT DO SOMETHING ELSE WITHOUT
AI
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AN AI
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 ASSISTANT.
MOREOVER
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, THE OTHER CAUSE IS THAT MORE OF
STUDENTS
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 LOSE THERE OPPORTUNITIES FOR DEVELOPING ON ACADEMIC LEVEL,THE YOUNG GENERATION NEED TO KNOW THAT USING AI I IS LIKE INSTANT VERIFICATION WHICH DO NOT WILL GIVE YOU SOME BENEFICIAL SIDES IN ACADEMIC SIDE.
Body paragraph 2
ON THE CONTRARY
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, THE COMBAT ISSUE, SOME PRODUCTIVE STEPS CAN HELP TO OVERCOME TO LARGE EXTENT. THE FOREMOST ONE IS THAT
STUDENT
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STUDENTS
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, TEACHERS,
WORKERS
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AND WORKERS
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 CAN ECONOMY THERE TIME WITH AI,
AN EXAMLE
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apply
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IT IS MORE EASIER IF THE TEACHERS
WILL
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SEND THE
WORK OF
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STUDENTS' WORK
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STUDENTS
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 TO
AI
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AI.
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,
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 IT IS
THE
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A
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 GOOD EXAMPLE
IN CORRECT
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OF CORRECTLY
 USING
AI
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AI,
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 BECAUSE IT GIVES YOU MORE IDEAS.
BESIDES
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THIS
Punctuation problem
THIS,
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 THE EMPLOYING AI FOR ACADEMIC INTENTIONS, TRY TO ASK
SOME
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FOR SOME
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ADVISE
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ADVICE
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, REQUEST TO EXPLAIN OR ADD NEW FACTS FOR SOME TOPICS MORE AND TRY TO KNOW DEEPER THAN NOW.
Conclusion
TO CONCLUDE
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,
ALTHOUGH
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 THERE ARE SEVERAL ISSUES
DUE TO
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 THE
CHEET
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CHEATING
 FROM
SIDES OF
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apply
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STUDENTS
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 ON EXAMS OR
STOPING
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THE STOPPING
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 OF ACADEMIC GROWTH , BUT TAKING STEPS
SUCH
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 AS CORRECT APPLY AI FOR TIME MANAGEMENT AND FOR ACADEMIC
DEVELOP
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DEVELOPMENT
 CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEMS TO A LARGE EXTENT.

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task response
Answer both parts in a clear way: say what the main problems are, then give ways to solve each problem. Your ideas about cheating and less learning are on topic, but they need clearer detail.
task response
Use real and clear examples. For example, say that a student may copy an AI answer for homework and then cannot write alone in a test. For a solution, say that schools can ask students to show notes, drafts, and class work.
task response
Do not say that AI can help students get the highest score. This can sound like a good point, not a problem. Explain that it may lead to unfair test work and weak skills.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each body part. The first body part should focus on problems. The second should focus on solutions. Make sure every sentence in each part supports that main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple links between ideas: “First”, “For example”, “As a result”, “Another problem”, and “To solve this”. This will help the reader follow your points.
coherence and cohesion
Make your sentences shorter. Some sentences have many ideas and are hard to understand. For example, write: “Some students use AI for every task. As a result, they may find it hard to work without it.”
coherence and cohesion
Your opening and ending are present, but they repeat broad ideas. State the two main problems and the two main solutions more clearly in the opening. In the ending, sum up the same points in a direct way.
task response
You discuss both problems and solutions, so your essay stays on the main topic.
task response
You give useful main ideas, such as unfair use of AI in tests and the risk of students learning less.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear overall shape: opening, problem part, solution part, and ending.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words, such as “However”, “Moreover”, “Besides this”, and “To conclude”.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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