IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

There is too much noise in many public places in cities. What are the causes of this problem? What can be done to solve the problem?

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Introduction
It is a fact that public
spaces
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 in urban areas are faced with excessive levels of
noise
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.
Firstly
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,
this
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 essay will discuss the reasons behind
this
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 tendency and
secondly
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 propose some solutions to counteract
this
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 issue.
Body paragraph 1
The
most
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apply
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major reason behind
this
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 trend is the mass influx of
the
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apply
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residents from
countryside
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the countryside
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 to the cities.
This
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 is because inhabitants in suburban and rural
are
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areas are
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 not provided with ample living amenities, they are increasingly relocating to the city
centers which
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centres
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resulting
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, resulting
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 in
the
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apply
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overpopulation in cities. Apart from that, poor urban planning
including
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, including
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inadequate
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an inadequate
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 number of greenery
spaces
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such
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 as
parks
Punctuation problem
parks,
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 leads to
increase
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an increase
show examples
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noise
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in noise
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level
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levels
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.
In addition
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 to the lack of public parks, the limited density of trees reduces their sound-absorbing function. Dense trees and vegetation act as a natural boundary between public parks and roadways.
As a result
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, the absence of sufficient green buffer zones leads to
noise
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 arising from heavy traffic.
Body paragraph 2
However
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, there are
number
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a number
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 of solutions to these issues. One effective remedy would be for
government
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the government
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should
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to
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 balance the opportunities between city
center
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centres
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 and suburban areas by allocating sufficient investment to the regional growth. Rather than constructing all the necessary facilities in the
centers
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centres
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, people in charge should promote a policy of
decentralization
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decentralisation
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. A second possible solution might be expanding park areas and green belts.
Body paragraph 3
To achieve
this
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, urban planners should follow the concept of isolating
city
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the city
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 via green belts to create accessible public
spaces
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.
Body paragraph 4
To conclude
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, overpopulation in the cities and poor urban planning choices are the main
reason
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reasons
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 why the increasing number of public
spaces
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 have experienced high levels of
noise
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.
Conclusion
Nevertheless
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,
this
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 trend can be reversed through effective measures taken by governments and
experienced
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an experienced
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 workforce.

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task response
You answer both parts of the question. To make your answer stronger, explain each cause and each solution in more detail. For example, show how more cars, buses, building work, and shops add noise.
task response
Your ideas are clear, but some are too general. Give one real or clear example, such as a busy road near a park, and explain how a green wall or more trees can help.
task response
Keep the link between each problem and its answer very clear. For example, better jobs and services outside the city can reduce the number of people and cars in city areas.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body paragraphs, and ending. However, the last body paragraph is very short. Join it to the paragraph before it, or add more support to make the flow better.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words in a more natural way. Words such as “First”, “Also”, “For example”, “As a result”, and “Finally” can help the reader follow your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph focus on one main idea. In the causes paragraph, first discuss too many people and traffic, then discuss poor city plans and too few green areas. In the solutions paragraph, give a matching answer for each cause.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because the grammar is not complete. For example, write “this results in too many people in cities” instead of “which resulting in the overpopulation in cities.” Clear sentences will make your ideas easier to understand.
task response
You deal with both causes and solutions, and your main ideas stay on the topic.
task response
The point about trees and green areas taking in sound is useful and fits the question well.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction clearly tells the reader what the essay will discuss.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion returns to the main causes and solutions, which gives the essay a clear ending.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • noise pollution
  • urbanization
  • population density
  • traffic congestion
  • infrastructure development
  • public announcement systems
  • street performances
  • noise regulations
  • soundproof materials
  • public transportation
  • designated quiet zones
  • green spaces
  • buffer zones
  • public awareness
  • community efforts
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