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Writing Samples
Band 5

many companies now allow employees to work from home instead of going to an office. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages

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Introduction
Working from home is an increasingly popular trend among many companies rather than the
tradional
Correct your spelling
traditional
 office-based workstyle.
Although
Linking Words
this
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 approach has some
dermits
Correct your spelling
drawbacks
, I believe that
an
Correct article usage
apply
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online working enables
the employess
Rephrase
employees
 to maintain their
work
Use synonyms
-life balance and
also
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 reduces the office's expenses.
Therefore
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, I strongly think that the merits of
this
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 trend outweigh its
dermits
Correct your spelling
demerits
.
Body paragraph 1
One significant benefit of remote
work
Use synonyms
 is that workers can balance their personal
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as well as
Correct word choice
and
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 professional
life
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lives
show examples
, as they do not need to commute to and from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work
Use synonyms
.
For example
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,
employees
Use synonyms
 can
utilize
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utilise
show examples
this
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 saved time with their family members and
also
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helps
Wrong verb form
help
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 their family with
houshold
Correct your spelling
household
 responsibilities.
As a result
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, they can strengthen their relationship with their families and
also
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 lead healthier and happier lives.
Body paragraph 2
Furthermore
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,
this
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 modern way of
Use synonyms
work
Replace the word
working
also
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 helps the
organization
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organisation
show examples
.
This
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 is because there is
not
Rephrase
no
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 need
of
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for
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 any offices and
working
Add an article
a working
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 setup for
worker
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workers
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 if they
work
Use synonyms
 from home.
For instance
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,
electricity
Add an article
the electricity
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 bill and office
maintance cost
Rephrase
maintenance costs
 can be saved.
Consequently
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, employers can invest
this
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 money
for
Change preposition
in
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 training their
employess
Correct your spelling
employees
.
Body paragraph 3
However
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, despite these merits, there are some drawbacks
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 using
online
Add an article
the online
show examples
 method
working
Check wording
apply
show examples
.
Employees
Use synonyms
 may lose
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 social interaction with their colleagues
and
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, and
show examples
also
Linking Words
 managers encounter the difficulty
to
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of
show examples
 monitoring the progress of their teams
due to
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 the lack of face-to-face conversation.
Therefore
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,
this
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 can affect team relationships and reduce
employees
Use synonyms
' sense of belonging in the workplace.
Conclusion
In conclusion, even though
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 remote
work
Use synonyms
 has some disadvantages for
employees
Use synonyms
as well as
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 higher authorities, I
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
show examples
this
Linking Words
 latest approach has more positive consequences because it is beneficial for both workers and employers in
the term
Check wording
terms
show examples
 of saving money and maintaining a better lifestyle.

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task response
Give a clear answer in the first part and keep this view in all parts. You do this well, but explain more fully why the good points are stronger than the bad points.
task response
Your main ideas are on topic: more time for family and lower office cost. Add one more detail to show how these points help both workers and the company.
task response
The bad points are clear, but they need a little more support. For example, say how less talk with co-workers can make team work slower or less good.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear shape: first part, two good points, one bad point, and an end. This makes it easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. Words such as "For example", "As a result", and "However" help the reader, but do not use them too often at the start of each sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Make some links between ideas more natural. For example, after the point about office cost, explain directly why the saved money makes working from home a better choice overall.
coherence and cohesion
Check a few unclear or incomplete word groups, such as "There is not need of any offices" and "online method working". Clear sentences will make the flow better.
task response
You answer the question directly and state that the good points are stronger than the bad points.
task response
The examples about time with family, home duties, power bills, and office cost are relevant and easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
Each main paragraph has one central idea, so the reader can follow your points easily.
coherence and cohesion
The final part returns to your main view and gives a clear ending.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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