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Band 5.5

The line graph shows the percentages of Australian export with four countries. The graph below shows the percentage of Australian exports to 4 countries from 1990 to 2012

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The line graph shows the percentages of Australian export with four countries. The graph below shows the percentage of Australian exports to 4 countries from 1990 to 2012
The line graph illustrates the percentage of
Australian
Use synonyms
 transport
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 countries. The graph presents the number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Australian
Use synonyms
exports
Use synonyms
 to 4 countries in a 22-year period, starting from 1990
-
Change preposition
to
show examples
2012.
Overall
Linking Words
, we can see that between 1990
to
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 2012, there was a significant increase in
Australian
Use synonyms
exports
Use synonyms
 to China.
However
Linking Words
,
exports
Use synonyms
 in
Japan
Use synonyms
 and the US directly decreased in the 22-year period ;
moreover
Linking Words
, India was unpopular for
Australian
Use synonyms
exports
Use synonyms
 over the
2 decades
Replace the word
2-decade
 period. Another interesting point is that the same percentage of
2009
Add an article
the 2009
show examples
 US and India, until
2012
Punctuation problem
2012,
show examples
 were closely approximate. Looking at the details,
while
Linking Words
Japan
Use synonyms
 was almost mostly
exports
Use synonyms
, China was increasing until the same point at 20% up to around 30%, whilst
Japan
Use synonyms
 was decreasing
down
Rephrase
apply
show examples
to second. If we look at the number of people exported to China starting from
last
Linking Words
 place, it kept increasing until it overtook the other,
while
Linking Words
Japan
Use synonyms
 and India dropped.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words australian, exports, japan with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Line graph
  • Percentage
  • Exports
  • Trend analysis
  • Upward/downward trend
  • Fluctuation
  • Comparison
  • Peak performance
  • Decline
  • Stability
  • Significant
  • Inferred
  • Global events
  • Economic context
  • Reflect
  • Influence
  • Patterns
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