IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

In today's job market it is far more important to have practical skills than theoretical knowledge. In the future, job applications may not need any formal qualifications. To what extent, do you agree or disagree?

2.0 / 9
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To extend to whether to have a lucrative job will only require hands-on experience
rather
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, rather
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 than
prioritizing
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prioritising
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 academic background in the
future
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future,
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 has been a matter of considerable debate. Personally, I completely disagree with
this
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 idea, and the reasons will be explained in the following essay.
To begin
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 with, since
substantial
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a substantial
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 proportion of the working industry is directly connected with human life, it is crucial to be experts. Without theoretical knowledge, it is nearly impossible to interpret underlying factors or
most
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the most
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 prevalent solutions for a specific problem. Medicine is a case in point; If a doctor suggests the exact pills which were given to
the
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apply
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individuals with headaches, to the patient who
concerns
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is concerned
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 about
headache
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headaches
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 as well, they may misinterpret the situation, as the pain may happen in
the
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a
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 different part of the body but still perceived as if it happens on the head.
Consequently
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,
such
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 incompetence may prove to lead to death.

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task response
Your view is clear: you do not agree. However, the essay is not complete. Add at least one more main reason, and finish with a short ending that repeats your view.
task response
Explain why formal study is still needed in more jobs, not only in medicine. For example, engineers, teachers, and lawyers need both study and work skills.
task response
Your doctor example is useful, but make it easier to follow. Say clearly that two people can have the same pain but need different care, so a doctor must know the cause before giving drugs.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simpler opening. The first sentence is hard to understand. State the topic, then state your view in one clear sentence.
coherence and cohesion
The first body paragraph has a clear main idea, but some links are weak. Use simple links such as “First”, “For example”, “As a result”, and “Therefore” to show the order of your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each sentence focused on one idea. Some sentences are very long and make the meaning unclear. Split them into two or three short sentences.
coherence and cohesion
End the essay with a conclusion. It should sum up your main points and say again that practical skills cannot fully take the place of formal study.
task response
You answer the question directly and give a clear opinion from the start.
task response
The example about doctors is on topic and shows why study can be important for work.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraph has a clear order: main point, example, and result.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words such as “To begin with”, “Without”, and “Consequently” to connect ideas.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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