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Writing Samples
Band 5

English has become the dominant language of international science and business. Do the advantages of having a single global language for these purposes outweigh the disadvantages?

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Introduction
Global information has spread across every country in
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
the
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 world. As nations open their doors for foreign relationships, there is a view that holds
whether
Correct word choice
that
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 learning
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
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 language, particularly
English
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, is more beneficial to explore international science and business than the drawbacks it creates. Considering the fact that
Use synonyms
English
Check wording
the number of English
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 users
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 increased rapidly,
this
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 essay will examine why the advantages
overtake
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outweigh
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 the disadvantages.
Body paragraph 1
At one point, a person who
fluent
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is fluent
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 in only one global language might create biased financial opinions toward an individual's own country.
For example
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, Indonesians who
oftenly
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often
 see other countries' stock markets tend to
critize
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criticise
 their minister of finance disrespectfully
in
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on
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 social media.
This
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 might be dangerous as the views can foster other people to do uncooperative behaviour,
such
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 as refusing to pay taxes.
Body paragraph 2
However
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, the benefits of mastering
English
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 for global advancement are more
beneficial
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significant
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. In academic science, there are many credible journals that
provided
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are provided
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 in
English
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.
For example
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Scopus, which
widely
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is widely
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 known as the best
literatures
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literature
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, are widely published by
top-universities
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top universities
 as it
provided
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provides a
 better way of methodologies.
Therefore
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, by understanding
this
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 language, researchers and students can access the latest global knowledge without waiting for slow local translations.
Similarly
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, in the business sector, proficiency in
English
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 enables companies to negotiate directly with international investors.
This
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 overseas collaboration directly drives national economic growth and creates better job opportunities for local citizens.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
while
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 exposure to foreign information through
English
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 can sometimes spark unfair criticism and domestic uncertainty, its role in accelerating scientific progress and international business is undeniable.
Overall
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, the ability to connect with the global community and adopt worldwide innovations brings far greater prosperity than the social misunderstandings it may cause.

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task response
Answer the question more directly in the first paragraph. Say clearly that the good points are greater than the bad points, then name the main reasons.
task response
Make the bad point more closely about one world language. Your first body paragraph talks about people criticising their own government after seeing foreign markets, but this link is not fully clear.
task response
Explain the bad point with a clearer chain: a world language may put local languages and local ways of life at risk. Then give one real or clear example.
task response
Your good points are strong: English helps people read new science work and speak to people in business. Add one more detail to show how this helps people or countries.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simpler plan: introduction, one paragraph on bad points, one paragraph on good points, and a short ending. Your essay mostly follows this plan well.
coherence and cohesion
Make the first body paragraph easier to follow. Start with a clear main idea, then give an example, then explain why it matters for the question.
coherence and cohesion
Some links between ideas need to be clearer. For example, explain how seeing stock markets leads to people not paying tax. At present, this jump feels too fast.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid saying the same idea twice, such as 'more beneficial' and 'benefits'. Use short, direct sentences to make your view clearer.
task response
You give a clear overall view that the good points are greater than the bad points.
task response
The science and business paragraph stays on the main topic and gives useful reasons for using English.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear opening, two main body paragraphs, and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as 'However', 'Similarly', and 'In conclusion' help the reader see the main steps of your argument.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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