Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than history. Discuss both these view and give your own opinion

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Introduction
Some contend that students should learn
History
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the most, but others insist
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Science
Correct word choice
that Science
show examples
and
Technology
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should be
prioritized to
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prioritised over
History
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.
While
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History
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, a
backward-looking
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backwards-looking
show examples
subject, is informative in terms of learning what we did, I believe
Science
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and
Technology
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, a forward-looking study field, are more practical to
creat
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create
what we want.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand,
people
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can learn a lot from
History
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through great experiences and documents.
People
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who learned the detrimental impacts of the atomic bomb in World War 2,
for example
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, implemented the international regulation after the tragedy to prevent
further
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damage from
this
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weapon.
Moreover
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, historical scientists and engineers build on what
predecessors
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their predecessors
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made, enabling them to accomplish a novel innovation or contribute
a
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to
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human development.
As a result
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, learning from the past is fairly valuable, but
people
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need to be mindful that the historical
lesson-learnt is
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lessons learned are
not always applied to us, because our current societies and environments are not the same.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, some argue that
Science
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and
Technology
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should be
emphasized
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emphasised
show examples
in
educational
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the educational
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scene, given the current rapid technological advancement.
This
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evolution makes
scientic
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scientific
experiments significantly faster. A case in point is a vaccine, during COVID-19, scientists invented the vaccine for
this
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pathogen in a short period, which was a record-breaking speed in
history
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.
Hence
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, under
this
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dynamically-changing scientific landscape, it is plausible to devote more students'
recorces
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resources
into
Science
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and
Technology
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.
Conclusion
In conclusion, acknowledging the importance and value of
History
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, particularly in the historical casualties, I suppose it is valid to say that learning
Science
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and
Technology
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is more useful and beneficial for
people
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than
History
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, considering the different situations we are
sorronded
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surrounded
by.

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task response
You discuss both sides and give a clear view. To make your answer stronger, explain more clearly why schools should give more time to Science and Technology, not only why these subjects are useful.
task response
Your examples are relevant, especially the atomic bomb and the COVID-19 vaccine. Add one more clear school-based example, such as how science lessons help students solve health, energy, or climate problems.
task response
Be careful with claims about History. The point that lessons from the past may not fit the present is useful, but explain it with a clear example so it does not sound too general.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: introduction, History, Science and Technology, and conclusion. Keep this strong plan.
coherence and cohesion
Each main paragraph has a main idea and an example. However, some links between ideas are not fully clear. For example, after the atomic bomb example, explain exactly how this shows that History should be important at school.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words with care, such as “For example”, “As a result”, “However”, and “Therefore”. Do not use a link if the next idea does not directly follow from it.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion repeats your view well. Make it more direct by saying that History should still be taught, but Science and Technology should receive more time because they prepare students for future needs.
task response
You answer every part of the question: you present the value of History, the value of Science and Technology, and your own view.
task response
The atomic bomb and vaccine examples help make your ideas real and easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
The four-paragraph plan is easy to follow, and the introduction and conclusion clearly show your main view.
coherence and cohesion
Topic sentences such as “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” clearly show the two sides of the discussion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial
  • comprehend
  • retrospect
  • gain insights
  • reflect on
  • sharpen
  • evaluate
  • significance
  • heritage
  • legacy
  • advent
  • breakthroughs
  • sustain
  • sustainability
  • revolutions
  • empowered
  • overcome
  • transform
  • advancements
  • collaboration
  • cooperation
  • diversity
  • fulfilling
  • promote
  • facilitate
  • prosperity
  • enhance
  • foster
  • foundation
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