Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organized group activities in their free time. others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own discuss both opinions and give your opinion ?

#people #parents #children #part #group #activities #time

It is widely believed that

children

should be supported to participate in

group

activities

in their leisure .

However

, others advocate that

children

should depend on themselves to take advantages of their free

time

.In my opinion, if

children

are engaged in

group

activities

, they will obtain more benefits. The exploitation of free

time

is crucial for

children

However

Add a comma

show examples

we should not leave

children

to occupy themselves on their own for many reasons.

Firstly

, some

children

will not be able to spend their

time

in a proper way because they do not possess the imagination and creation.

Secondly

this

approach may launch a child on a path of antisocial

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

because he will adapt to do

activities

by himself.

Finally

Add a comma

show examples

most of

Add an article

the

show examples

hildren will choose to spend their free

time

using

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

contemporary technology which in turn will not bring experience or knowledge to their life. In my

prospective

Correct your spelling

perspective

show examples

, involving

children

group

activities

is fundamental and useful because

this

will integrate

children

with society.

Consequently

children

will gain tremendous experiences

For example

, if

children

do a team sport, they will learn the value of cooperation.

In addition

Add a comma

show examples

being with

group

drives

children

to depend on themselves which in turn learn them autonomy. In conclusion, when

children

get involved in

group

activities

, their character will be developed.

Hence

, we should give

children

an opportunity to interact with society because

this

will produce a great influence on them and on their future.

Submitted by bassemhagras on Tue Mar 26 2019

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

240 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

encourage
occupied
organized
group activities
benefits
social
teamwork skills
interpersonal skills
friendship
discipline
time management
interests
hobbies
independent play
creativity
problem-solving skills
self-reliance
explore
discover

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Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organized group activities in their free time. others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own discuss both opinions and give your opinion ?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some countries the average weight of people in increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve it?

the government should give each citizen a basic income, so they have enough money to live on, even if they are unemployed To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Universities and colleges are now offering qualifications through distance learning from the Internet rather than teachers in the classroom. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

You have a full-time job and are also doing a part-time evening course. You now find that you cannot continue the course. Write a letter to the course tutor. In your letter -describe the situation -explain why you cannot continue at this time -say what action you would like to take