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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying fulltime or part-time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying fulltime or part-time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#men #women #education #britain #three #periods #fulltime #summarise #information #features #comparisons
This
 bar chart represents the total number of
trips
 that children aged 5 - 12 made to and from
school
 in 1990 and
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2010. As can be seen from the chart, over time the predominant method of commuting to
school
 has changed from walking to being driven in a
car
. In 1990, over 12
millions
Correct your spelling
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
trips
 made to and from
school
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 done on foot, followed by
bus
Add an article
the bus
show examples
, cycling, a combination of walking and
bus
, and
finally
 travelling by
car
 as the least popular method of commuting. There
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 only over 4
millions
Correct your spelling
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
trips
 by
car
 in
this
 period.
However
, in 2010,
by contrast
, around 11
millions
Correct your spelling
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
car
trips
 were made to and from
school
, rendering
this
 method of travelling the most popular, followed by walking,
bus
, a combination of walking and
bus
, and
then
 cycling.
Overall
, it can be concluded that there will be more
trips
 made by
car
 in the future as the use of
Add an article
the car
a car
show examples
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 is increasing.
Submitted by evanmbt on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words trips, school, car, bus with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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