While, some people think playing video games is waste of time and it can adverse effect on the health of players.I am completely disagree with this statement. I will discuss their merits in the following paragraphs.

#people #video #games #waste #time #effect #health #players #merits #paragraphs

While some people think playing

video

games is a waste of time and it can adversely effect on the health of players.I completely disagree with

this

statement. I will discuss their merits in the following paragraphs.

To begin

with, there are myriad reasons why

refers to the speaker or writer

believe that playing

video

games is worthwhile. The

first

and the foremost thing is, if they play

video

games

then

conjunction used in comparatives

than

their mind feels refreshing as well as, they will learn new strategies.

Moreover

, their families will spend more time with them while playing

video

games.

In other words

, they improve their social skills

also

Furthermore

, if they play

video

games, they will boost their attention and concentration power.

Additionally

, they can enhance their memory while playing

video

games.

In addition

Accept space

if they play

video

games

then

they can raise their multitasking skills.

Besides

, it is a great source of learning. They can upgrade their problem- solving skills as well.

Further

, when they

playing

Suggestion

play

are playing

video

games

Accept space

they feel energetic.

However

, if they play

video

games, their coordination power increases.

Last

but not least

Accept space

they improve their brain's speed too. To sum up, in my opinion, playing

video

games is very useful for players. As

refers to the speaker or writer

already discussed above that they can feel

energize

Suggestion

energized

as well as they can improve their concentration power.

On the other hand

, they spend more time with their families. While, playing

video

games

Accept space

they can enhance their memory. It is a great source of learning.

they

Suggestion

They

feel

refresh

Suggestion

refreshed

while playing

video

games.

Submitted by naresh on Mon Apr 15 2019

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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15Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

249 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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While, some people think playing video games is waste of time and it can adverse effect on the health of players.I am completely disagree with this statement. I will discuss their merits in the following paragraphs.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some school children buy healthy food from the school cafeteria. However, some buy unhealthy food. What are the reasons for both these situations? Should schools be allowed to sell unhealthy food?

Childhood obesity is becoming a serious health problem in many countries. What are the causes of this? What solution can be offer

Many cities have become less pleasant places to live in recent years. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Schools should use films, computers and games instead of books. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the best way to learn is from newspapers. Others think that the best way to learn is through other media. Discuss both views and give your opinion.