Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

Social media today play a main role in
severals
(used with count nouns) of an indefinite number more than 2 or 3 but not many
several
aspects of our life. They are used by people of different ages in different way. But sometimes they are used without any kinds of limits and
this
can
creade
make or cause to be or to become
create
spread
serius problem
Suggestion
serious problems
serious problem
a serious problem
of privacy leaks.
Nowdays
Suggestion
Nowadays
almoust
(of actions or states) slightly short of or not quite accomplished; all but
almost
all actions we perform online involve social media.
From
Suggestion
For
general info about a person
to
Suggestion
with
different way
Suggestion
different ways
a different way
to organise a party.
For
example social
Accept comma addition
example, social
media are used in fields like politics, marketing and communication. But if social media help to keep in contact with people far from us, or help us to keep update about
achivements
Suggestion
the achievements
achievements
achievement
of a
friends
Suggestion
friend
of ours, they have
also
different risks.
Obviusly
Suggestion
Obviously
social media play a main role in social interactions.
This
is a very good aspect. They can help people from two
oppsite
being directly across from each other; facing
opposite
parts of the world to keep in contact and to
share
moments or important
achivements
the action of accomplishing something
achievements
achievement
of their life with a
goup
any number of entities (members) considered as a unit
group
of close friends. If in the past, a letter need long periods to be delivered, today with social media is very easy to
share
a photo, or send a message to someone. Everyone can use them without any kind of problems.
Also elder
Accept comma addition
Also, elder
people can get
beneifts
financial assistance in time of need
benefits
benefit
from them, so they could not feel alone from their family.
On the other hand
, social media are very dangerous. Everyone should know the risks to use them without any kind of rules.
For
example with
Accept comma addition
example, with
social media, every could get in contact with the wrong
persone
a human being
person
persons
.
An other
Suggestion
Another
example is when people
share
every single
aspectes
Suggestion
aspect
aspects
of their
life not
Accept comma addition
life, not
only with their close friends but
also
with other people.
In addition
, social media make people addicted to them. People sometime lose their mind to
share
, to like and to
riceve
get something; come into possession of
receive
like. In fact,
their
in or at that place
there
are not able anymore to enjoy the moment, because
thery
people in general
they
spend all their time on the social media. I
belive
accept as true; take to be true
believe
social media are an important revolution. They have a lot of good aspects, but like weapon everyone should know how to use them without the risk to
hust
raise or haul up with or as if with mechanical help
hoist
host
just
themselfs
reflexive form of "them"
themselves
or someone else.
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
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