Some people believe that time spent on television, video and computer games can be beneficial to children. Others believe this has negative effects on a child. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

These
days many
Accept comma addition
days, many
people believe that children can actually benefit by spending
time
on television, video and computer games which are products of technological advancement. In my opinion,
such
games in the virtual world
has limited
Suggestion
have limited
utility with respect to
development
Suggestion
the development
of children. On the
one
hand, there are newer inventions in the gaming arena that has led to the
development
of very creative and complex video games to which many children are hooked day in and day out.
This
helps our younger generation’s brain
development
and in becoming competitive, in some cases learning about
actual games
Suggestion
the actual games
.
For example
, there are games like cricket, tennis where children gain knowledge about real world games and
then
there are visual graphic games where they learn how to survive or even save
planet
Suggestion
the planet
!
On the other hand
, there is nothing like playing actual games out in the open with other tiny tots.
There
Suggestion
Their
kids get to interact with other kids, learn and experience human emotions, make new friends and indulge in physical sports.
This
helps
one
in becoming fit physically and developing stamina that will hold them in good stead in future. Some kids actually find their passion
in particular
sports during
this
phase and go
onto
Suggestion
on to
become successful
in
Suggestion
at
it in
future
Suggestion
the future
.
For example
, cricketing world might not have seen a Tendulkar had it not been for his early introduction to Cricket in his early years. To summarize, a bit of
time
spent on virtual games isn’t really
harmful but
Accept comma addition
harmful, but
there is no substitute for a child’s growth and
development
than actual physical games. Due to academics and school leading paucity of
time
,
one
can spend meaningful
time
on only
one
the two. I would prefer kids spending more
time
in playing games out in the open.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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