IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Water is a natural resources that should be free. Government should ban the sale of bottled water. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is a general
believe
Replace the word
belief
show examples
 by some
people
Use synonyms
 that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 ought to place
embargo
Correct article usage
an embargo
show examples
 on
sales
Correct article usage
the sales
show examples
 of
water
Use synonyms
 in bottled
form
Use synonyms
 since
water
Use synonyms
 exists naturally. In my opinion, I strongly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 assertion
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 I believe having drinkable
water
Use synonyms
 available to all is a
form
Use synonyms
 of business that comes at a cost. To start with, there is a cost implication attached to making consumable
water
Use synonyms
 available to all
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
for
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 reason, bottled
water
Use synonyms
 should be sold. To illustrate
further
Linking Words
, aqua, though widely available in the universe in
Use synonyms
form
Correct article usage
the form
show examples
 of streams, rivers, oceans, rains
amongst
Punctuation problem
, amongst
show examples
 others, is most times not good for consumption in its natural
form
Use synonyms
. Purification of
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
 natural resources involves a lot of processes
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 filtration, carbonation and
mineralization
Change the spelling
mineralisation
show examples
, which
comes
Correct subject-verb agreement
come
show examples
 at a cost.
Hence
Linking Words
, it becomes necessary for
organizations
Change the spelling
organisations
show examples
 involved in providing hygienically consumable
water
Use synonyms
 to charge
people
Use synonyms
 for the service rendered.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
selling
Correct article usage
the selling
show examples
 of bottled
water
Use synonyms
 is a
form
Use synonyms
 of entrepreneurship and
means
Correct article usage
a means
show examples
 of generating income for some
people
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Nigeria,
availability
Correct article usage
the availability
show examples
 of
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 jobs and fierce competition in the job market means many unemployed
people
Use synonyms
 have to think outside the box and settle for other means of survival.
As a result
Linking Words
, Sales of bottled
water
Use synonyms
 present many with an opportunity to generate income since there is a constant demand for drinkable
water
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is a viable business as long as
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
 of the
water
Use synonyms
 supplied and the safety of the
people
Use synonyms
 are not being compromised in a bid to make
profit
Correct article usage
a profit
show examples
. In conclusion,
availability
Correct article usage
the availability
show examples
 of hygienically drinkable
water
Use synonyms
 in a bottle is not free
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 sales of it
provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
show examples
 an avenue for
people
Use synonyms
 to generate income
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
 should
therefore
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 not place an embargo on it.

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Task Response
State your main view at the start in clear words and keep it the same through the writing.
Task Response
Give more strong facts or examples to back your view and explain why they matter.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use simple links such as also, but, for example to show how ideas fit and move from one idea to the next.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make some sentences shorter and fix long words or phrases so the meaning is easy.
Strength
Clear stance on the topic.
Structure
Good plan with intro, body, and conclusion.
Content
Some real life examples used.
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