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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Do the dangers derived from the use of chemicals in food production and preservation outweigh the advantages?

#dangers #chemicals #food #production #preservation
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Chemical usage in the production and
preservation
Use synonyms
 of
food
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 has been a great concern
to
Suggestion
for
 some individuals. In my opinion, while there are some benefits of
this
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, the drawbacks
such
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 as the effect on the
health
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 of consumers and the
food
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 loosing its nutritional value cannot be ignored. Admittedly, one of the major benefits of
food
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preservation
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 is longer shelf life.
This
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 simply implies that the
food
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 is still consumable after six
month
Suggestion
months
 to a year.
In addition
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, it is
also
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 cost effective for the producers of the product as they can estimate their budget for the year.
For example
Linking Words
, the manufacturers of baked
beans put
Accept comma addition
beans, put
 the expiring date of six months on their
product
Suggestion
products
.
Nevertheless
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, one of the major drawbacks of chemical
preservation
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 in
food
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 is, it is harmful to the
health
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 of the consumers. Most of the chemicals used in preserving
food
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 for a long while have been noted to be harmful to the
health
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 of the consumers. Some of
Linking Words
this
plural of "this"
these
 chemicals have been associated with causing deadly diseases
such
Linking Words
 as liver failure and cancer that has killed a lot of individuals.
For instance
Linking Words
, a research by Boston university showed that 50% of the
food
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that is
Linking Words
 consumed in the United
state
Suggestion
States
 are chemically grown and has resulted in deteriorating
health
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 of her citizens.
In addition
Linking Words
, chemically laden
food
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 is observed to have lost its original nutritional value as compared to the freshly grown produce. To conclude, while a longer shelf life of a product is one of the benefits of
food
Use synonyms
preservation
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, the demerits
such
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 as the
health
Use synonyms
 of the consumers and the nutritional value of fresh produce
can not
can not
cannot
 be overemphasized.
Submitted by alotolulope on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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