Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

Almost everyday television programs show scenes of
violence
, it
is normal see
Suggestion
is normal seen
is normal see
armies and
cruent
a flow of electricity through a conductor
current
images in computer games too. The audience is divided, someone says that the view of these scenes damage the behaviour of society, someone else admit that the
violence
seen on TV does not have any negative effects on people. I think that an adult person is able to divide the reality from the fantasy, so, if he has an educational and cultural background there is no risk that he will imitate what he has seen. The younger, especially kids, are more inclined to copy some actions, for
this
reason
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
guess is important control what they watch. Nowadays media are full of violent scenes: video of fights recorded by mobile phones or film’s parts.
Is possible see
Suggestion
Is possible to see
brutality everywhere and there are some people that used to imitate what they see.
This
inclination worries
someone but
Accept comma addition
someone, but
I think that the solution is not
delete
Suggestion
deleted
every form of
violence
from
screens
Suggestion
the screens
. If an adult man has received a good
education he
Accept comma addition
education, he
will
know
in the historical present; at this point in the narration of a series of past events
now
recognize what is wrong and dangerous for his life and for people’s life who are around him. According to me these continuous displaying of
violence
could have negative effects on children. They start to play
at
Suggestion
on
videogames
Suggestion
video games
when are really little and learn
from
Suggestion
about
these the existence of weapons. They learn to use mobile phones very early and now on
internet
Suggestion
the internet
is possible to find everything. They could watch tutorials about the use of guns or videos that show moments of bullying made by younger people. They will grow thinking that the
violence
is the normality. The quick fix is not denying the use of
technology but
Accept comma addition
technology, but
check what they do and explain them what is right and what not. To
conclude I
Accept comma addition
conclude, I
think that could be appropriate reduce scenes of
violence
, but with a right education the risk that these
affect
Suggestion
affects
on behaviour is reduced.
Submitted by anto.costantino.ac on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • pivotal
  • desensitize
  • catalyst
  • predisposed
  • harmless outlet
  • distinguish
  • controlled environments
  • empirical research
  • minimal or no direct correlation
  • socio-economic status
  • predisposition
What to do next:
Look at other essays: