Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

Many people believe that the
violence
we see everyday
wether
the atmospheric conditions that comprise the state of the atmosphere in terms of temperature and wind and clouds and precipitation
weather
on TVs or video games has a negative
affects
Suggestion
effect
effects
on the society, while others believe that it do not affect on people's behaviour. In my essay I will discuss how these actions would harm our society.
Firstly
, kids in a particular age copy whatever actions they see, and in nowadays most video games,
such
as PUBG, depends on
violence
,
wether
introduces two alternatives
whether
using equipments or hands fighting. If we allowed our kids to play these type of games it will affect on them when they grow up and become teenagers, everything they copied when they were kids they will do it as they get
more stronger
Suggestion
stronger
. As well
as, some people
Suggestion
, as some people
who are not educated and their thinking is limited and they follow traditions
,
Accept space
,
when they see
violence
on TV series or shows they will find it as a normal thing. They will start hitting anyone whenever he/she gets angry without thinking
of
Suggestion
about
the results that may happen. Especially men in
this
case whenever they get
angry they
Accept comma addition
angry, they
do not feel nor think wisely which lead up to many divorce cases, mostly in Arab countries. Even though
violence
should be forbidden in all countries, some people think that it will not affect on our community and that goes back to the parents if they do not practice
violence
in front of their kids, as well as, teaching them that it would hurt others and end up with
bad result
Suggestion
bad results
a bad result
as injuring your friends or breaking one of his/her body parts. Most kids that we hear about or see on the street practice
violence
with
there
of them or themselves
their
friends
as a result
of their careless parents.
Finally
, I wish if the government put laws that punish people who practice
violence wether
Accept comma addition
violence, whether
violence whether
violence water
inside their homes or outside. Some countries punish the parents if they hit their kids, but in Arab countries hitting kids is something normal they believe
this
way is better to build a good generation for the future.
Submitted by maialkadra79 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • pivotal
  • desensitize
  • catalyst
  • predisposed
  • harmless outlet
  • distinguish
  • controlled environments
  • empirical research
  • minimal or no direct correlation
  • socio-economic status
  • predisposition
What to do next:
Look at other essays: