many high-level positions in companies are filled by men even thogh the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 per cent female .companies should be allocate a certain percentage of these poistions

#positions #companies #men #thogh #workforce #countries #cent #percentage #poistions

With the achieve the

equally

Suggestion

equality

between men and women in some

companies

Suggestion

companies'

company

men still get the perks and positions whereas women do not!

However

, some believed

that that companies should

Suggestion

that companies should

not

distanguish

mark as different

distinguish

between men and women it should give some of

this

for females.

Moreover

, In my opinion I strongly agree with that and in

this

essay I will discuss that.

Firstly there

Accept comma addition

Firstly, there

is no

dout

the state of being unsure of something

doubt

that nowadays women become more

sucsseful

having succeeded or being marked by a favorable outcome

successful

than how they were,

furthermore they

Accept comma addition

furthermore, they

proved their qualifications in many filed of jobs, nobody can deny that women worth

pormotions

a message issued in behalf of some product or cause or idea or person or institution

promotions

and perks more as many as men get because they work more and better and they do not have

absence

Suggestion

an absence

in their jobs like men.

Fot

Suggestion

For

Fort

example, according to a survey in an

Australia

Suggestion

Australian

company the management said women were

better but

Accept comma addition

better, but

to be honest when we want to

detrmine

establish after a calculation, investigation, experiment, survey, or study

determine

a position men get it easily they look more

agreesive

having or showing determination and energetic pursuit of your ends

aggressive

Suggestion

resault

a phenomenon that follows and is caused by some previous phenomenon

result

results

Accept space

women do

better but

Accept comma addition

better, but

get less

this

rule can

destoryed

make false by mutilation or addition; as of a message or story

distort

their

carachters

an imaginary person represented in a work of fiction (play or film or story)

characters

character

character's

Secondly

it it

the thing named or in question

is commonly believed that women are busier than men, they are responsible for taking care of

children

Suggestion

child

children's

child's

housing

besides

having their

job

Suggestion

jobs

on the other hand

men just have to do his job

For

instance accordine

Accept comma addition

instance, according

instance according

delytime

, during an interview with a

business man

a person engaged in commercial or industrial business (especially an owner or executive)

businessman

, he said: we do not trust women they

are always have

Suggestion

always have

are always having

have always had

a lot of things to do it, they always confused

Suggestion

nervious

easily agitated

nervous

. So men believed that

the

people in general

they

have the

qulifications

an attribute that must be met or complied with and that fits a person for something

qualifications

qualification

and the

paitient

a person who requires medical care

patient

patients

at work. To conclude

Accept space

I strongly agree with that women worth to achieve the

equally

Suggestion

equality

with men, she has the right to be and get like men,

furthermore

gender roles were in the

last

decades we should forget it.

Submitted by Yara on Wed Jul 03 2019

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
35Grammar mistakes
 

10 paragraphs

287 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. Many of the problems young people now experience, such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
The position of women in society has indeed changed significantly over the past two decades, with an increasing number of married women joining the workforce. This shift has sparked a debate about its impact on young people, particularly concerning issues like juvenile delinquency. While some argue that the absence of mothers at home contributes to these problems, I believe this viewpoint is overly simplistic and does not consider other important factors.
6.5
band
Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities.Others however say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required discuss both these views and give your own opinio
In today’s society, people’s perspectives on public health have diverged. With the rise of health awareness, the question of whether building more gyms and sports centers is the most crucial approach to enhancing public health has become a matter of considerable debate. This essay will outline both viewpoints, and I believe that there are other practical methods that could more effectively foster individual health.
7
band
Some people feel that governments should take a large portion of people's salaries to pay for necessary public services such as roads and schools. Others feel that high taxes are a bad thing.
Nowadays, there are too many individuals who feel that the government should take a significant amount of money from the residents to upgrade facilities. Others feel that high payments of taxes are not good for people with low incomes. I totally disagree with this statement, but in some cases, it might help in the short term. The following paragraph will discuss both views.
4.5
band
Many people nowadays spend a large of their free time using a smartphone. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
In the present day, a number of people who using smartphone in their leisure time is increase, due to a various benefits smartphone has offer to the users. I believe this phenomenon will pose catastrophic consequences to the present socity.
5
band
Some people believe that to protect local cultures, tourism should be banned in some areas, while others think that change is inevitable and banning tourism will have no benefits. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
It is argued that, putting restrictions on tourism is irrelevant and change of mankind is not possible. A school of thought holds perception that tourism should be banned to preserve local culture in some areas. The essey will elaborate both points of view and the writers opinion.

many high-level positions in companies are filled by men even thogh the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 per cent female .companies should be allocate a certain percentage of these poistions

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities.Others however say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required discuss both these views and give your own opinio

Some people feel that governments should take a large portion of people's salaries to pay for necessary public services such as roads and schools. Others feel that high taxes are a bad thing.

Many people nowadays spend a large of their free time using a smartphone. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people believe that to protect local cultures, tourism should be banned in some areas, while others think that change is inevitable and banning tourism will have no benefits. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.