IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#employers #people #jobs #information #hobbies #interests
It has been considered by most employers that asking for more personal
information
 from applicants aids in a job selection process, while on the other side, it has been argued that asking for
such
 data is in no way necessary for accessing whether an applicant is the right fit for a company. Employers normally ask
these
Suggestion
this information
information
 because they feel
understanding
Suggestion
understood
 an applicant on a personal level helps them tailor if he or she is the right fit. In order words, employers need
these
Suggestion
this information
information
 to get a feel of who the individual is before the interview process. On the other side of the argument, some people argue that
this
information
 is not necessary in judging if an applicant is the right fit. Applicants with that point of view feel their personal lives should be separated from their professional lives. I have witnessed scenarios where applicants don't share their social media accounts on job applications because they feel employers only need to know their education and professional work history. From my own experience, I have always found asking personal
information
 is key to better understand who you are dealing with.
For instance
, if my business leverages on employees to communicate and work across distributed teams, I would expect asking more personal
information
 about a person would better determine if he or she would be able to handle working in a distributed way. In conclusion, if an employer asks for a bit of personal
information
, I feel it is the duty of applicants to provide
such
information
 as it would go a long way in ensuring success in their job search.
Submitted by johnboscoohia on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • job application
  • personal information
  • hobbies and interests
  • marital status
  • relevant
  • useful
  • privacy
  • assessing candidates
  • qualifications
  • experience
What to do next:
Look at other essays: