In countries where there is a high rate of unemployment, most students should be offered only primary education. There is no point in offering secondary education to those who have no hope of finding a job. Do you agree or disagree ?

#countries #rate #unemployment #students #education #point #hope #job

Unemployment is one of the most pressing concerns that many countries are facing. While some people state that there is no need to provide secondary

education

for primary students who do not want to get a job, I argue that it is essential for the government to ensure its citizens to obtain a higher

education

Firstly

, there are a number of reasons why students should not study only at primary

education

. With limited

education

, one can perhaps find odd jobs at an earlier age, but his long-term income will be limited. What is more, students those finish primary

education

only have a manual job which affect negatively on their health in the future.

Furthermore

, if young generation do not

educated fully

Suggestion

fully educated

educate fully

educate educate fully

, it will lead to other consequences. The whole society would not develop

sustainably

Suggestion

sustainability

sustainable

and the rate of crime would be higher due to lack of educated people.

On the other hand

, I strongly believe that it is important to receive secondary

education

To begin

with,

although

students may spend more time and struggle difficult tasks to finish secondary

education

, these people have a better chance to keep their jobs and earn a higher salary compared with those receiving lower

education

In addition

, educated people do a lot to create jobs. They set up various companies or factories to employ the staffs.

Therefore

, it is these people that contribute to social progress. In conclusion, it seems to me that all students should continue their studies in order to ensure a sound life.

Submitted by Thanh on Sat Jul 06 2019

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

252 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

unemployment rate
primary education
secondary education
job prospects
critical thinking
entrepreneurship
self-employment
social inequalities
societal progress
personal development
civic awareness
self-esteem
workforce
investment
industries
fundamental right

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In countries where there is a high rate of unemployment, most students should be offered only primary education. There is no point in offering secondary education to those who have no hope of finding a job. Do you agree or disagree ?

Fully explain your ideas

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

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