These days many families move abroad for work. Some people believe that this benefits the children in these families. Others believe that it makes their lives more difficult. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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People have different views related whether it

benefical

promoting or enhancing well-being

beneficial

for the children to immigrate with their families abroad. I believe it is beneficial for children to move

outhside

beyond the boundary of; external to

outside

their

country

Use synonyms

. On one hand, there are many advantages for the children to move abroad.

Firtsly

Suggestion

Firstly

, they get access to quality education. The education in

developed

Suggestion

developing

country

Use synonyms

is far superior than that of the developing

country

Use synonyms

Additionally

Linking Words

, in these countries they have better career opportunities in

comparison what they

Suggestion

comparison to what they

comparison with what they

may have in their home

country

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

, the children

gets

Suggestion

get

internationl

Suggestion

international

exposure where they

studies

Suggestion

study

with students from many other countries.

This

Linking Words

help

Suggestion

helps

them to learn multiple cultures and prepare them to excel in their jobs after completing their graduation.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, they live a

convinent

suited to your comfort or purpose or needs

convenient

life in migrated

country

Use synonyms

. The developed nations have better infrastructure. People in developing

country

Use synonyms

spend more time in commuting same distance in comparison to developed

country

Use synonyms

. Some of the cities in

third

Linking Words

world countries have become unlivable due to increase in pollution levels.

For example

Linking Words

Delhi capital

Accept comma addition

Delhi, capital

of India, is one of the most polluted cities of the world and children over

their

in or at that place

there

suffer from numerous diseases due to inhaling of that air.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, children

also

Linking Words

encounter many difficulties, when they move to

other

any of various alternatives; some other

another

country

Use synonyms

Firstly

Linking Words

, they have

to start to all

Suggestion

to start all

over again and it is not easy for everyone.

Secondly

Linking Words

, they have to learn different languages. Learning language is not

everyone

Suggestion

everyone's

cup of tea and some of the student struggle lot with it. In conclusion, I strongly feel the advantages of moving out far outweigh disadvantages for the children.

rahul78.bansalMon Jul 15 2019

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

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These days many families move abroad for work. Some people believe that this benefits the children in these families. Others believe that it makes their lives more difficult. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many people think modern communication technology is having some negative effects on social relationship. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

As a result of electronic inventions ,people do less physical activity and this is having a negative effect on their health . To what extent do you agree or disagree

We live in a world in which we are constantly exposed to advertising. To what extent does advertising influence our choices as consumers and what effect does it have on our lifestyle? Discuss this issue and give your opinion.

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

All large companies should provide sports and community facilities to the local community. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?