IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places like libraries, shop and on public transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #phones #places #libraries #shop #transport
Telecommunication technology has played a vital role in information sharing and bringing people closer. Its
usage
 has become a basic necessity of life and one cannot image to live without mobile phones. Prohibition of cell phones in public places is laudable, but I don't agree fully and believe that their
usage
 should be allowed in public places but with some restrictions. On the one hand, using mobile phones in public places can distract other people and divert their attentions.
For instance
, libraries where people reading material of interest can be easily distracted through ringtones of incoming calls or people talking over the phone loudly with their loved ones. Mobile phone
usage
 in public places like hospitals can easily interfere with the medical equipment which can be harmful to the patient.
Moreover
, talking over the cell phone can increase the sufferings of the patients waiting in the room to see the doctor. Mobile phones can easily slip from the hand when someone bumps in departmental stores it will not only damage the
devices but
Accept comma addition
devices, but
 it can block the entire lane at the billing counter. Often the environment at shopping malls, stores and other public avenue is very noisy and talking over cell phones will add extra decibel.
Moreover
, its
usage
 in Music galleries or
prayers
Suggestion
prayer
 room can result in discomfort for others and spoil their entertainment or offerings.
On the other hand
, restricting
usage
 of mobile phones in public places can keep people away to stay in touch with their loved one in case of emergency and so on. Mobile phones nowadays come up with cameras and other services like Email, Entertainment and so on.
This
 would keep them away from capturing the pictures of events in music galleries or taking selfies in public buses and sharing with their friends on the go.
Moreover
, people love to listen to music during travelling will have little to enjoy. Cell phones can easily be switched to silent/vibrate mode,
this
 will not distract people due to
loud
weight to be borne or conveyed
load
 ringtones of incoming calls or messages.
Submitted by grewalrubal97 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: