The bar chart below shows the Percentage of Australian man and woman in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart demonstrates period.
that
the Correct word choice
apply
percentage
of Australian Use synonyms
mens
and women who did Correct your spelling
men
men's
regular
physical activity of different Add an article
the regular
a regular
age
groups in 2010. It’s interesting to the bar chart.
Use synonyms
Overall
, Linking Words
Males
experienced a downward trend, Use synonyms
while
females showed an upward trend throughout the period. Both Linking Words
Use synonyms
males
and Change noun form
male's
males'
females
Change noun form
females'
female's
percentage
rates had some fluctuations. Use synonyms
Although
Linking Words
males
Use synonyms
initially
had a lower rate,it outraced Linking Words
males
Use synonyms
of
the end ofChange preposition
at
Add an article
the
Use synonyms
Percentage
of Correct article usage
The percentage
males
was about 52.8% in the Use synonyms
age
group Use synonyms
ofr
15to24,Correct your spelling
of
for
being
higher than Unnecessary verb
apply
Correct article usage
the female’s
female’s
rateChange noun form
female
by
. Approximately 5.1%. Change preposition
apply
Then
it Linking Words
decrease
to almost 42.2% in the Change the verb form
decreases
age
group of 25to34. Use synonyms
However
, the figure showed a gradual decrease to about 39.5% at the Linking Words
age
of 35to44 but in Use synonyms
Linking Words
next
Correct article usage
the next
level
it roses Use synonyms
upto
43.1% in Correct your spelling
up to
45
-54 Correct article usage
the 45
age
group and continued to incline steadily to the end of Use synonyms
period
,reaching around 45.1% at the Add an article
the period
age
of 55to64 and hitting the high point of about 46.7% in the Use synonyms
age
of 65 and over.
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
Percentage
of Correct article usage
The percentage
female
was less than 50% at the Fix the agreement mistake
females
age
of 15to24. In Use synonyms
Linking Words
next
Correct article usage
the next
level
,it roses Use synonyms
upto
48.9% Correct your spelling
up to
in
the Change preposition
at
age
of 25to34.During Use synonyms
Linking Words
next
three Correct article usage
the next
age
of Use synonyms
Use synonyms
level
,it Fix the agreement mistake
levels
reahes
hitting the high point of about 52.5,53.3 and 53% at the Correct your spelling
reaches
age
of 35to44, 45to54 and 55to64 respectively but for the Use synonyms
next
Linking Words
level
,it Use synonyms
outracing
the rate of Wrong verb form
outraces
males
whose doing regular physical activity.Use synonyms
Submitted by Dikshita on
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "next".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, age, males, level with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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